Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmas Eve

I was feeling quite a bit better Christmas Eve morning. I put Scott's paycheck in the bank (it feels so good to say that!), took Emma shopping for some last minute, wrapped some gifts for the party at Scott's parents' house, and made dessert and dips. It was almost 4 pm so I started getting ready to head out the door when Scott called to say he was off work. I spiked Ethan's mohawk (which is about to be cut off), put Emma's hair up in a bun ( she prefers her hair up), and was almost done with my hair when the phone started ringing. I check the caller id and found is was ex MIL's number so I didn't answer it. I let it go to voice mail and continued to get ready. A few minutes later it rang again and this time it was their cell number. Again I let it go and chased Harley down to change him and started getting presents stacked by the front door. A few minutes later the phone rang again and it was the kids' cousin calling from her cell phone but I knew she was at the ex-in-law's house so again I didn't answer it.
Emma kept asking why I didn't answer the phone and I said because I'm too busy to talk to anyone right now. Probably not the right thing to say but she dropped it and went back to torturing Ethan.
When the phone rang, yet again, a few minutes later Emma heard it and beat me to the phone. It was her cousin crying and screaming that Emma wasn't coming over as ex-in-law's had promised.
So within a half hour or so time frame they called from 4 times from 3 different numbers, just trying to get me or someone to answer the phone. The cousin talked to Emma and then ex MIL talked to her and then ex FIL talked to her. All 3 of them trying to talk her into talking me into letting them go over there for the evening.
I was so angry at them for doing this. How manipulative they were! How absolutely rude! I have so many other things running through my head but they aren't very appropriate for here. I was married to a sailor for 6 years and still talk like one sometimes!
I asked Emma again what she wanted to do. She asked if I would be mad at her and I told her no I wouldn't be mad at her. She said she wanted to go over to their house. I told her to tell her grampy she would call him back and I called Scott and left him a message telling him what I was about to do. I let him know if he was upset then we would deal with it but I was giving in this one last time and letting the kids' go over to the ex-in-laws for tonight, that they had called 4 times in a half hour time frame from 3 different numbers and I was tired of the harassment. I then told Emma to call her grampy and let them know they needed to be their within 10 minutes to pick them up and I would pick the kids up around 11:15 that night after the party was over at Scott's parent's house. They agreed to this, which I knew they would, even after they had told me that I needed to pick the kids by 8pm that night. I figured if I was bending for them, AGAIN, they could abide by my terms this time. Which they readily did.

I got the kids off with ex FIL, who didn't come to the door and sent in the cousin to get them, and got the van loaded with the goodies and gifts for the party. Scott called and I made sure he had listened to his voice mail. I asked if he was mad and he said no just upset. He said that he felt like I had given in again and would always give in to the ex's and they know now that they have control over me and he has no control over me. I chose to ignore that part and told him we were on our way to meet him at his store and said goodbye and hung up.
I managed to put on a happy face for mom and Harley as we got in the van. We listened to Christmas music on the way to Scott's parent's house.

Scott didn't greet me when we got there. He didn't say hi, give me a hug or kiss, or even look at me. He helped us unload the goodies and talked with everyone but me. I had to go to the bathroom and he chose this time to tell his parent's why Ethan and Emma weren't there. They were ok with it but didn't say much to me either after that.
I sat by Harley at their kitchen table while everyone else talked and laughed. I was hurt and on the verge of tears and afraid if anyone said anything to me I would lose it. Scott's sister was nice, she didn't bring it up and knew I was upset, and kept trying to draw me into the conversation but someone else would find a way to change the topic.
When it was time to do the gift exchange I had given up on having any fun and helped Harley with his presents and opened mine and just sat on the floor. I was probably very, very pathetic but I at that time I didn't care. I had spent the past week trying to make everyone else happy that I'd forgotten about me and I was suffering mentally for it.
We played a Harry Potter game, which I did participate and had some fun. We got home about 10:15 so I still had about an hour before I was going to get the kids so I finished wrapping presents and getting stocking stuffers separated so it would be easy to do when all the kids were sound asleep.

Scott didn't help me finish the wrapping or get the stocking stuffers ready. I totally understand why he didn't want to go with me to get the kids. After I was sure the kids were asleep I arranged the presents under the tree, stuffed the stockings, and finally fell in bed and tried to talk to Scott. I asked him to please talk to me now and he didn't answer me. I asked him if he was angry or hurt and he didn't answer me. He just lay there staring at the TV. I finally gave up and told him I loved him and good night. He still didn't say anything.

Oh, I was sarcastic at one point and said Thanks so much for helping me with the wrapping. He still didn't say anything. I couldn't help the sarcasm. I was hurt. I understand he was too but to ignore me, I don't know what to think or say about that.

I think I finally fell asleep around 3am.

What a lovely start to Christmas.

I'll tell you all about Christmas day tomorrow.


Laurie said...

God this makes my heart hurt for you. This is a situation where NO ONE would be happy, no matter what you chose. I'm sorry girlie! I will shank the in-laws! I swear!!

Theresa said...

Oh boy...why does life have to be so difficult?

Shannon said...

Thank you Laurie, you made me laugh!