Thursday, April 27, 2006

Maybe it's not such a good thing to make your Gynie laugh while she has the duck bill up your cookie

I was warned about the receptionist at my GYN office a couple of days ago. I knew they had a grumpy receptionist but this lady beat them all.

I walked up to their window to sign in and said Hi, how are you today. Grouchy lady said Just give me your insurance card. WOW

Being the nice person I am, and the lovely mood I was in for having to go to the Gynie, I threw it at her. It didn't hit her, it landed on the desk right in front of her. She scanned the card, sighed and scanned it again. Apparently her machine wouldn't read my insurance card, or my insurance card just wouldn't allow itself to be scanned by such a grouch. She typed in the insurance number and I was totally surprised that the keyboard didn't try to get up and run away from her. She was punching those keys as if she were punishing them.

She handed me the card and told me to please leave a urine sample. I said ok, I'll go pee in the cup, have a great day. And then I walked to the bathroom. She probably wasn't amused by me at all.

When the nurse called me back the first thing I was asked to do was step on the scale. I pulled a Harley and said No! I really like my Gynie's nurse so I had a smile on my face when I said it. She said ok, just tell me how much you weigh and we won't share it with anyone else. Ha, I know she shared it with my Gynie.

Then she took my blood pressure and told me it was high. I informed her that No, it wasn't try it again. So she did and it was normal that time.

For some reason I went in ready to argue! But no one was arguing with me. I was just making the nurse laugh.

The nurse showed me to my room after making small talk about the perils of infomercials and how much money she has spent on crap for weight loss. I told her I haven't bought anything for weight loss but a gym membership and so far it was a big load of crap too.

Nurse said you know what to do, gown opens in back. And then she left me all alone in the little room with posters about birth control and permanent hair removal and the table with stirrups in a permanent, upright position. For some reason I am paranoid in those rooms. I'm always afraid that someone will walk in on me in the middle of undress and find me bent over with my ass facing the door and my underwear around my knees. It's never happened to me but the fear is there. Lingering. Never going away.

So, I get undressed and hop up on the table. Ok maybe I just step up on the little step and sit down on the table, but hopping just sounds so much better.

The way the table is arranged whoever walks in would have a clear shot of my naked back and ass crack. I'm so glad I have a pretty butterfly tat decorating my back so if someone were to walk in on me their eyes would be drawn to the bright colors and not my scare fluffy back. Only my husband likes that sight and I still haven't figured out why. I guess I should stop trying to figure him out. I never will.

Anyways...Doc knocks on the door and I say Hi in a squeaky voice. She walks in and asks if I'm ok and I say yes, why? I'm sitting half naked on the table with the paper stuck to my butt cheeks (I tend not to cuss in front of doctors) and getting more and more anxious by the minute! Doc laughed and sat down and asked me the normal questions.

Doc: How are you feeling
Me: Fine thanks.
Doc: How are you periods? Are they normal?
Me: They still come every month and stay for a few days and then leave.

Then I told her that they come a week later every month and are just a little bit heavier than they used to be. I still cramp but it's still not bad at all. Not compared to what it was before I had kids.

We went on discussing my weight gain over the past year and how hubby and I are now working out and I've only last a few pounds since we started working out but I can run around the soccer field with my daughter for a whole practice when I couldn't do that last Fall. She was pleased to hear that and said as long as I'm getting healthier don't worry about the weight loss.

What is it with doctors and telling me that? First my family doctor told me I will get healthier but probably never lose weight and then my Gynie says pretty much the same thing. Weenies

After the Q&A session she tells me it's time to start the exam. Deep breath in and repeat 5 times. Breathe normal please. Ok, lie down and I'm going to do the breast exam. That's always loads of fun, getting felt up by another woman while laying on an exam table while those stirrups are taunting you.

Then comes the dreaded statement. Go ahead and scoot on down so your bottom is at the end of the table. I don't know about you other women but that means its time to wiggle and squirm and unstick your ass from the damn paper so you can scoot down. Doc assured me that it does happen to other women but I've never heard anyone else complain about it. When I'm anxious I tend to get hot and I tend to sweat just a little and that will make that damn paper stick.

I wiggle and squirm and unstick and scoot on down so my butt is touching the bottom of the table and then I plop my feet into the stirrups. I had this overwhelming urge to yell Giddyup and almost felt around for some reins but I held myself together and lay still. Doc lifted my cover and got all serious and said ok, now you'll feel my fingers and then the speculem (duckbill) and proceeded to tell me about everything she was going to do before she did it. The nurse is in the room by now and is making small talk, asking how the kids are doing and how big the baby is. I just had to tell them about the cute things that Harley does and had doc giggling pretty good, with the duckbill still up in the cookie. Probably not a wise thing to do considering I've been pinched by a duckbill in the past. I almost kicked the doctor for that one because it was his fault.

When that was done she said it's time to do the finger exam. She puts one palm on my stomach and stick a couple of fingers from the other hand back up the cookie and feels around. I just had to ask if she has ever made anyone fart while doing this. She laughed and said many, many times.

I thought we were done and she would leave so I could get dressed and regain some dignity. I was wrong. She told me to sit up as she sat back down on her stool She told me she wants to have my thyroid checked because of the changes I had mentioned to her. I told her if she thought it necessary but I didn't think anything was wrong with it. I've had it checked once a year for the past 4 years or so because doctors seem to think I have a problem with my thyroid. The test always comes back normal.

She wrote up the script for the blood work and then got up and said have a great day and I'll see you next year. I told her I didn't think so! She frowned at me and asked why not. I told her because every time I see her she pokes and prods and wants to have needles stuck in me. Why would I want to come back? She laughed some more as she walked out of the room.

I hopped down from the table, yes, I actually hopped that time, and started getting dressed. I never knew exactly how fast I could get dressed until I found myself standing in a small room at the Gynie's office never knowing when someone could make a mistake and walk into your room while you are still naked. That still hasn't happened.

Then I had the fun of heading back to work after the violation of my cookie. I just feel rather yucky after that exam and wished I could have had the afternoon off to go home and shower.

That was the long and boring tale of my trip to the Gynie today. If you have stuck around this long, I am impressed.

Tomorrow will be tales of Harleyisms. Like you all haven't had enough of those.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Work was good. We laughed and had a great time while helping our customers. One of my co-workers made me laugh so hard I was crying and almost pee'd my pants. I had to leave my desk and go sit in the bathroom for almost 15 minutes. Great fun.

That greatness carried over into Emma's soccer practice and I actually got out on the field and kicked the ball around with the girls. The team had a scrimmage game with the team that shares their practice field and they have with every practice. Both teams warm up separately, do a few drills, and then start the fake game. The girls on both teams love this and normally have a great time. The other team was just off last night. They were all grouchy and mean and most of our girls ended up getting kicked or pushed by the other team. At one point Emma's shoulder connected with a girl from the other team, in her shin guard. Emma rubbed her shoulder and fought back tears, because ya know Mom, there is no crying in Soccer! The other girl sat out the rest of the fake game because she was so hurt. The screams and wails coming from this little girl were awful. She made it sound like Emma tried to hurt her on purpose. It was bad enough that the girls own coach finally told her to be quiet, she was being way melodramatic.

I'm pretty sure that girl's shin is just fine this morning. I was pretty sure it was fine last night. Emma had a pretty black and blue bruise on her shoulder this morning.

Before that collision the girls were having fun tackling Scott, throwing soccer balls at him, kicking soccer balls at him, chasing him around the field, and whatever else he was egging on. It kept the girls up and moving and they were all anxious to actually take their turn in the fake game. Normally they just sit there on the sidelines and when they are asked to sub in, they kind of whine about it.

After the collision Emma's attitude went down hill and Ms. Grouch decided she was done and that practice should be done too. I managed to get her back in the fake game, there were only 15 minutes, and she could deal.

When practice was over Scott headed home to start supper and I took Ms. Grouch to get her hair cut. She was upset about getting her hair cut because she wants her hair down to her butt. She's wanted that for a couple years now and I keep telling her that when she takes proper care of her hair then I'll leave it alone. She loves to shower but hates to shampoo or condition her hair. When she does wash her hair she refused to brush it before going to bed. Her hair would dry in tangles and brushing her hair the next morning took forever. The children de-tangle spray always made her hair feel greasy so I switched her to a leave in Pantene conditioner, which worked wonders, but she got to the point where she wouldn't use it or hide it from me so we couldn't comb her hair.

I gave in and had it cut last night because her hair felt like straw. I had the Miss Haircutter to do a conditioning treatment on Emma before she cut her hair. Miss Haircutter then told me to get all the damaged ends off she would have to cut Emma's hair to just below her ears. Emma's eyes filled with tears and I was mean and told Miss Haircutter to go ahead and do it.

Emma's hair went from almost the middle of her back to just below her ears in an extremely cute bob.

Emma cried while I paid for her hair cut. Emma cried all the way home, while she was getting her pj's on because she wasn't hungry and didn't want to eat supper. She cried while I tucked her in to bed and then told me that I was just mean and it was her hair and she should be able to make her own decisions about her hair. By that time I'd had enough and I went to bed crying.

Scott was nice enough to get Ethan and Harley in bed for me while I lay on my bed and pouted.

Emma's mood was a little better this morning but she said she still wasn't hungry and didn't eat breakfast. She had her hair and teeth brushed in under 5 minutes. I hesitantly asked her if it was easier to brush her hair and she just glared at me and walked outside. I'm going go be on her bad list for a while.

My mood is horrible this morning. I didn't sleep well from the stupid crying I did. Our weekly Wednesday morning meeting was chock full of its normal negativity and I'm pretty much fed up with it. If someone tries to bring up a positive then we are immediately shot down and the negative is brought back.

I normally don't write about work for lots of reasons but today I had to bring it up. I've worked for the same company for 6 1/2 years now. Unfortunately some people here haven't realized that you get better results by being nice then by snapping at everyone every time you turn around. I'm just saying

Now I must go. My loverly yearly checkup with the loverly Gynie is today. Blech

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I'm sitting here, in sweaty gym clothes, being kicked by my husband because he's ticked that I got to the back computer first. We just spent an hour at the gym and he headed straight for the oreo ice cream when we walked in the door. Such a good thing to do after working out for an hour, huh.

He's not ticked really, just being his usual annoying self. I love him dearly and wouldn't change a thing about him. He just likes to bug.

Yes, I was bad and ate the ice cream he tried to bribe me with so he could have his computer back. I took the ice cream but didn't move! MUWAAAAHAAAAAAA


Things Emma said to me today:
Mom, I can't brush my hair because my back hurts. That's a good one and have no idea why she thought it would work. Emma has this thing with not brushing her hair after she showers and going to bed with wet, unbrushed hair and waking up with the nastiest tangles. And detangler makes Emma's hair feel nasty.

Why do I have to do the dishes? This is asked right after she has pulled away from giving me a hug and burps a spinachy, steaky burp. Right In My Face. And then proceeds to let it rip out the other end. OH. MY. GOD. That girl reeked tonight and it wasn't just dinner. I wonder what she ate at school? I'm wondering if the school changed their menu from chicken fingers to bean burritos. I didn't know chickens had fingers anyways.

Look what I taught Harley!!!! She was so excited about this. She brought Harley over to me and at the same time they both turned their backs to me and looked over their shoulders and proceeded to slap their butts and yell bootiiieeeee just as loud as they could. Both Emma and Harley got in trouble when Harley stood up in his chair at the dinner table and turned around and slapped his butt and yelled booottiiieeeee. Its so hard to teach your children the proper thing to do when you can't help but laugh at some of their antics. I'm such a great influence.


General Things Heard Around the House
This is gross and I apologize up front but I have to share it.
Scott is sitting in the bathroom, yes, he's on the toilet, and he's grunting and making a big production of pooing. Lucky for all of us Scott didn't shut the bathroom door. Why you ask? I'm not sure but he really should have. With every grunt Ethan would giggle. Now, Ethan is in bed and supposed to be sleeping. Groan, giggle. Grunt, giggle. Groan Grunt Moan! Big Ole Belly Giggles. Ethan would let out a huge giggle every time Scott let out a groan. By the time I managed to hurry Scott out of the bathroom and into workout clothes Ethan couldn't quit giggling. He had tears streaming down his face. I gave up and walked out the front door after yelling bye.

I hear Ethan and Harley playing in the front room when I get home from work. They are playing cars and both are laying on the floor. I look in on them right as Harley sits on Ethan's head. All Ethan does is lay there screaming that he has a baby on him and he can't get up. Being the wonderful mother I am I walk away and just shake my head. A few seconds later I hear "Harleyyyyyyyy, that's grossssss, you don't fart on peoples heads when you sit on them. Mom make Harley stop farting!" I really don't have anything else to say about that.

This from Harley. No. No. NO. NOOOOO. gamma, emma, etan (that is how he says Ethan), mom, dad. After he's gone through everyone's name he runs full bore and head butt's my mom in the legs. Gamma's not that steady. She waddles like a penguin every time she walks. Poor thing has flat feet and bad arthritis. It makes for a weavy mom. Did I mention he told me no? No, well he told me NOOOOO quite often tonight.

We haven't heard Biatch from Harley in a couple days. I'm sure it will come back.

Reminder to self, need to boil a dozen eggs to take to Ethan's class Friday morning. I have no idea why but I got a note from his aid so I'll be boiling eggs tomorrow.

Good night all. My work out high is gone and I'm ready to drop.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Today was good.

My MIL called to say all of her blood work came back ok. So the doctor doesn't know what is wrong. She'll just have to watch herself and if she feels the start of another headache like that then she has to go straight to the hospital. She sounded good today though.

My mom is going out of town for the weekend. She leaves Thursday afternoon and comes back Sunday night. Normally my MIL watches the pudge when my mom is out of town but with all this I figured she needed a break and lots of rest. I took Thursday afternoon and Friday off to take care of my pudge. I'm excited to actually get some painting done while I'm home. Now we'll see if that really happens.

This is bad but I'm also excited to have the house to myself, well, my husband, my kids and me. I love my mom dearly but we need a break from each other sometimes and after her shoulder surgery, it's break time.

Emma's eyebrow looks so much better today. I really think she did need stitches but its kind of late now. She'll just have a nice scar running through her eyebrow. She said all the boys at school thought it was so cool and they all wanted to touch it. I told her that if they did try to touch it just bark at them when their finger gets near her brow. I'm the greatest mom huh?

Scott is teasing me because I've set up my own recipe box on the Food Network website. The past few nights that I've cooked I've pulled the recipe off the Food Network. Tonight I made Apple Pancakes, otherwise known as Apfelpfannkuchen,

I've tried pronouncing that word and didn't do a very good job. I did a wonderful job making them though and the kids were upset that I made enough for each of us to have just one pancake. My mom and myself are allergic to eggs, makes for a fun time in cooking and baking, and I replaced the egg with applesauce and a little extra water. They did fine without the egg! I was very pleased with myself.

I really don't know what has brought on this urge to cook and use different recipes. Maybe its boredom with what we've eaten lately. I'm ready for something different and the Food Network site gives plenty of options.

I think Thursday night, when I have time to really make a good meal, I'm making oven fried chicken, sour cream mashed potatos, a vegetable, and maybe even a deep dish apple pie.

Now I must go because Harley just grabbed an unopened box of Cheezits and almost has them open. He should be going to bed, not scavenging for food!

Phew, I just caught a whiff of something ripe too!

Anyone volunteer for diaper duty tonight...

Anyone... Sam?

I didn't think so.

Have a good night all!

What type of Fae are you?

Monday, April 17, 2006

Easter ER worries & Emma vs. the Computer Chair

Good Friday was just that. Good.

My household went out to eat and then home to get the kids in bed so Scott and I could have a date. The one and only movie I had my mind set on watching, Slither (I know B scifi movie), had left town after only two weeks. Two Whole Weeks! I was so disappointed that I went into the bathroom and put my pj's on. Scott got on the computer and started looking for music on 360 proshare and I sat in the middle of our water bed with a Mickey Mouse latch hook kit. I started it 5 years ago and decided that night was the perfect night to do some more work on it. We watched a Supernatural and a Ghost Whisperer and still have some Supernaturals, Ghost Whisperers, and Losts to catch up on. I sat in the same position for two hours, legs spread wide with everything in between my legs for easy reach. By the time Scott was ready to make the salad and get the steaks in marinade for our Saturday night family dinner, I could barely move. My legs were so sore and my back so stiff. It took so long to work them out. Taught me the lesson don't sit in one place for so long, at least not with your legs spread wide and bent over reaching for little pieces of yarn!

Saturday was spent cleaning to get ready for the family dinner, which was held here, at my house, with my brand new pretty table! and sorting laundry, and going to soccer. Emma's team lost again but that's ok. I don't think she even noticed they lost because she was having so much fun.

Saturday night brought family, steaks, and Margaritas! Lots of fun and the alcohol was flowing freely. My FIL had to leave a few times because the car wash he manages kept breaking down and the girl that was working it had no clue how to fix it. I felt sorry for her. No, my FIL didn't drink, just Pepsi.

We had plans to have dinner with my in-laws after church on Sunday. They were going to go to the Sunrise service and then come back into town to meet us at Applebee's. We got a call about 8:45am to let us know that my MIL had a migraine and wouldn't be making it for dinner. I said ok, hoped she would feel better soon, and got all of us out the door for church.

Scott's schedule was changed and he had to be to work at 11:30am Sunday, not 7pm to work the stock truck, so he left the church as soon as the service was over. Supposedly one of the girls he works with had a family emergency and had to leave town. We found out later that day that no, she just didn't want to work. I'm so angry at her because her little lie took Scott away from his family on Easter Sunday. I'm trying to let it go and forget about it.

There was a quick egg hunt and then mom, the kids, and I headed off to Applebee's for a lunch that I didn't have to cook or clean up after. I figured I would call my in-laws after lunch to see how MIL was feeling.

We got home from lunch and I lay down with Harley to get him to nap and the phone rang. It was Scott telling me that he had just heard from SIL that MIL was in the hospital and the doctors think she has a brain aneurism. Scott said that is all he knew but had to go because the store was busy. I called my SIL on her cell to find out what exactly was going on. SIL said they had done a spinal tap and the fluids were clear and had just done a lumbar (not sure if this is right but that is what I heard) and they were waiting for the results. The doctors weren't sure what she had and weren't sure if it was life threatening.

I asked SIL if I should go to the hospital and she said no because she didn't want to freak MIL out. I love my MIL to death but she does freak out very easy. SIL said she would call as soon as she had any news. So I waited. Harley finally slept without me, I couldn't bring myself to nap after that news. I paid bills and when that was done, stared at the TV for a while.

My FIL called a couple hours later to let me know MIL's pain was gone and they were going to let her go home and she was to see a neurologist as soon as possible today. Her appointment was at 3pm and that doctor did more bloodwork and did let her know that migraines starting at her age were highly unlikely, mainly if she didn't get them often before now, she wouldn't get them now. He also said such severe headaches like this in a person her age are a precursor to strokes. That is scary. She's only 62 years old.

But, the whole time she was in the hospital and in pain, Scott is stuck at work unable to leave because they are short handed, and worrying about his mom. I felt so sorry for him because he sounded lost, I knew he wanted to leave but he just couldn't. I couldn't tell him to ask the boss because he was the boss yesterday. I'm also still mad at this girl for pretending to have a family emergency when we had an actual family emergency and Scott could have been at the hospital with his mom. Stupid, selfish girl. I'll work on forgiving her later.

We find out more tomorrow after the other blood panel comes in. I'm anxious

And then today, at 4:45pm, only 15 minutes away from quitting time, my mom calls. I hear screaming in the background and the first thing she says is I think Emma's ok, I got the bleeding stopped and I don't think she needs stitches. I made myself take a deep breath and count to 10 before I asked what in the world she was talking about.

It seems Emma was sneeking up on mom to scare her and tripped over a toy dinosaur and pitched foward onto the computer chair.

Emma's eyebrow meet Computer Chair.

Computer Chair meet Emma's eyebrow.

She has a lovely gash right in the middle of her eyebrow and I think it actually might have needed stitches but the bleeding was stopped and mom had pinched it together and put a bandaid on it. With Neosporin, not sure if I spelled that right.

We'll see what it looks like in the morning but I'm pretty sure she'll have a nice scar and there will be no more hair in the middle of her eyebrow. Now, I love my daughter very much and think she is absolutely gorgeous but she has these bushy eyebrows and I've been waiting for an appropriate age to teach her about tweezing and waxing. I think we reached the tweezing bit a little early. Not sure just yet. Emma is fine though and ate 4 pieces of pizza, 4 buffalo wings, 4 cinnastix, and had a Sprite. I just hope she isn't up in the night throwing up from all the food she ate.

Quick note on Harley, his big thing is telling everything Nite Nite and tucking everything into bed. And it doesn't matter whose bed it is either. I found Buzz and Woody under my pillows last night.

Quick note on Ethan, I'm not sure about this new med Straterra yet. It makes him drowsy for the first couple hours and then he's fine after that. I can't tell just yet when it wears off. I'm off this Thursday and Friday and will hopefully figure it out then so I can call the doctor on it. A funny note, he fell asleep in class three times today. That is a first for him and it made me giggle so hard. Ethan only sleeps during the day if he's sick, and he isn't sick, and he only gets sick like once a year, and then he only sleeps if he throws up. Other than being sick he hasn't slept or napped during the day since he was about 10 months old. I think that's why I giggled so much. I guess you just have to be me to understand the giggles, or you have to understand Ethan. And I'm getting very sleepy, so if my writing makes absolutely no sense, or if there are spelling errors, I am truly sorry!

Oh, we did do an egg hunt here at home. After we finally dyed eggs at 7pm last night. I'm up for a mother of the year award for that one. Emma informed me she was so disappointed that the eggs weren't dyed at least four days earlier and I really should have done a better job hiding the eggs. I told her to be nice or I would find that chocolate bunny she hid and eat the ears before she could. This brought gales of giggles and I had her tucked in bed and her light out before they quit. Then she was yelling no fair for tricking her into bed so early.

I can be very, very sneaky

Sunday, April 16, 2006

This should have gone in Friday but, Well, I Forgot!

Good Friday and No School
Which means I didn't have to get the kids up for school and I could sleep in a little. I should know better than to sleep in, I'm almost always late on the days I don't have to take the kids to school.
I just have a quick question. If the government doesn't want God in our schools than why should the kids get religious holidays off? Now, don't get me wrong, we go to church and I believe in God and if the government is going to tell my kids they can't pray in school then I feel the government should stay out of every aspect of the church. Don't tell me how my marriage should be, who can or cannot get married, or what religious holidays the school should be out, or anything else related to religion. Sorry, don't know where that came from. On to happier posting.
I get up 45 minutes later than normal and find Emma already awake and watching TV. I shower and head back to my room, because ya know our bathroom isn't done yet and the bathtub is still in shambles. I'm walking through our quiet house and see Emma is asleep again, Ethan is still asleep, and as I pass Harley's bed I hear this quiet HI! I look down to see Harley laying on his stomach, his arms and legs spread eagle, and his eyes wide open. I think he was waiting for someone to make noise so he would know its ok to be up.
He followed me into the bathroom and walks over to the toilet and says Pee?. I told him yes you go pee in the potty. He kept repeating Pee over and over until I finally asked him if he wanted to sit on the potty and go pee. He said YES and the excitement on his face was so exciting for me. My baby wanted to sit on the potty! I was thrilled!
We stripped his pj's off and he took his diaper off and I plopped him on the toilet. I handed him his Triceratops dinosaur he was playing with and he sat there singing and playing with his dino.
I started my normal morning routine and left him on the pot for about 10 minutes and nothing happened. But he sat there without throwing a fit and didn't try to get down. I was pleased with that. It is definite progress from just a couple weeks ago when he didn't want to have anything to do with that potty.
I left the poor baby on the pot just long enough that he had a red ring around his cheeks, bad mom. I couldn't help but giggle. Harley ran to the diaper bed and climbed up on it to get his diaper put on. When that was done I sent him off to play and I'm sure my mom will be annoyed that I didn't dress him and let him run around in just a diaper. Oh, yes we have a diaper bed. Ethan has bunk beds but we don't have them put up as bunk beds, they are side by side. Ethan sleeps in one and we use the other bed as a changing table, a place to put Harley's shoes, and some extra blankets.
I finished getting ready for work and Harley started pouting because I wouldn't play with him. So I did what every good mother would do and plopped him in bed with dad, who was still sound asleep. Ha, not for long! I turned on our TV and Shrek 2 was on and let Harley watch that as I got dressed. I was putting my shirt on and had my head covered when Harley started singing and I couldn't quite make out what he was singing. I pulled my shirt all the way down and looked at my precious little blond boy sway back and forth and sing BIATCH BIATCH BIATCH over and over again. I looked at Scott, his eyes shut tight and he's laughing so hard that our waterbed is jiggling; he's pounding the bed with a fist and looked close to snorting.
I asked Scott if that is what he was really saying and Scott managed to squeak out yesssssssss! (Napoleon Dynamite fashion) I have a potty mouth babe and as long as he continues to want to sit on the potty, that is ok. For now, it will have to change of course. Unless he starts saying Dumbass, a la That 70's Show. For some reason Red just cracks me up and I've started letting Dumbass slip out of my mouth every once in a while. Only to a very deserving person though. Not just anyone has the honor of that expletive.
Now that I've shown the world what a good parent I am I'm off to study. I managed to finish my newest course in just 2 months and just have to take the final.
Chocolatism: A chocolate milk moustache is a good sign of the young at heart.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Boring Life

At times I think my life is just so boring and there is nothing going on but the same old thing Every. Single. Day.

Then I stop and wonder what in the heck is wrong with me. A full time job, 3 kids, a wacky husband, a house, a yard and soon to be garden, and mom with a gimpy shoulder keep me running. Oh, I forgot soccer. How could I forget soccer and the practices and the meetings. And the stupid politics of it. I can't believe how political it can get just so a child can play a sport they want to and have fun doing it. I'm actually glad to be part of this soccer board because they are all for kicking out the parents that harrass the kids during the game. Heckle the hecklers and make them upset enough to leave until the game is done. Scott has done that a few times. I'm so proud.

Tomorrow night is the monthly soccer board meeting and in some ways I dread them. Why you ask? because they normally last about 3 1/2 hours. Most of us work and have to get up the next morning to get to work and being at a meeting until 11pm or so makes it hard to get home and unwind enough to actually sleep. I volunteered so I really should shutup!

Emma's soccer team isn't doing so good. The first game was cancelled due to weather and never rescheduled, the 2nd game we lost, 3rd game was a tie, 4th game we lost, 4th game was a tie, and 5th game we lost. Hopefully this weeks game will at least be a tie again. There's a few new girls and they are all working on learning how to play as a team all over again. At least they have fun.

My friend Sam is getting a blackberry and I'm jealous. I'm very tempted to get one of my own. And not share with Scott! He is a geek like that and want to borrow it and I would have to beg, steal, and hide to get it back.

Once again he is on the back computer, doing who knows what, and I'm busy typing away on my blog, updating soccer stuff, and emailing SW's wife about August, the kids go to Washington in August to greet their dad's ship at the pier when it gets back from the 6 month tour they have been on (it's a surprise!). I'm so glad I get along with SW's wife, makes life so much easier. I've discovered I can multi-task like that on the computer. We haven't IM'd each other yet. I think he's a bit miffed because he grilled sausages for dinner and I wasn't all that hungry and just ate salad for supper. I might have hurt his feelings. Sorry Scott.

About time to get the kids in bed and sing the piggie song to Harley. Plus American Idol voting show is almost over and someone new leaves the show.

Hello, my name is Shannon, and I watch American Idol. And I know who was voted off but I won't say anything tonight. Sam, you will be happy!

I found my chocolatism!

Chocolatism: It is the right of every mom to take the first bite out of the chocolate bunny ears on Easter morning.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

No Internet at work is Killing Me

The evil Qwest is now up and running on both computers in my house. We are officially Networked. Is networked a word? Not sure.

Anyways, so much has gone on the past week that I'm not sure where to begin.

So, this post will be short since I'm at a loss of words for now.

I have decided that finally having eye insurance isn't that great because my coverage website is soooo out of date that I went through four different eye doctors before I found someone that still took my coverage. Pain in the butt insurance.

Thank you to Sam for helping us get the networking done! We greatly appreciate it.

My husband is a dork because now that we can network he is on the other computer IMing me while I'm typing this. Yes, I am answering him. I guess I'm a dork too.

I didn't do so good getting to the gym last week but I've already gone twice this week. The rest of the week doesn't look so hot though.

Harley is a turd. His newest interests include getting into the fridge and getting his precious carrots, his cow milk (chocolate syrup), and anything else that might catch his eye; opening any door in reach (which is every door now); and insisting that you sing the song about piggies (you know, this little piggie went to market, this little piggie stayed home and so on and so forth) each time you put a sock or pj's on him. And the song has to be sung while you get each piggie, you can't just sing it one time and get both socks on. You have to get each piggie and sing the lyrics that go with that piggie or else. You can't mix up the lyrics or you have to start all over. There are other things but my eyes are blurring right now and I want to catch up on a little blog reading before I quit IM'ing my husband and go to bed.

What Dorks...

I had a great chocolatism but lost it. Hopefully it will find its way back to my mind soon.

More later.....

I finally found the post I meant to do before the previous one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I finally realized why the weekends go by so fast. It was an answer that is right there on every page of the calendar and is so obvious but I never noticed it.


Every once in a while Emma will mention that weekends should be 5 days and weeks should be 2 days. I totally agree with her sometimes.

Saturday morning brought more bad news. A lady, Mrs. J, my mom taught with for years lost her 17 year old son, T, in a skateboarding/car accident. I've known this wonderful woman just as long as my mom has and she was actually Ethan's 1st grade teacher for a few months and she goes to the same church we do. She was almost my 1st grade teacher. Her son was only 2 months away from graduation. It's a horrible, tragic accident but hopefully those boys that were involved have learned a lesson.

Apparently the boys were taking turns, one driving the car and the others riding their skateboards, hanging onto the car. When Mrs. J's son was on the skateboard something went horribly wrong and he fell under the car and suffered severed head and chest trauma. Since it was Spring Break, Mrs. J was in Colorado visiting her family, her son had chosen to stay here with his step-dad and just relax and be a bum. Her husband chose to tell Mrs. J. that her son was in the hospital, he didn't tell her that he was already dead. He wanted to make sure she could make it home safely. She discovered half way home that her son was dead and a couple of church members contacted family to meet her and drive her rest of the way home.

The funeral is tomorrow and I'm taking time off to go. I know there will be lots of people there, teachers, high school students, family, church members.

We were grocery shopping not long after we found out and happened to meet up with another church member, D. D is the mother of 3, a pre-teen and 10 year old twins. D and I got lots of looks because we sat there in the cheese and lunch meat section crying on hugging each other. After we talked for a while we went our separate ways to finish up shopping. Scott and I bought enough food to take a couple of meals over to Mrs. J's house. During the whole shopping trip Emma kept asking how T died. She couldn't figure out how a skateboard killed him. I kept telling her we would talk about it later but she just wouldn't drop it. I finally lost my patience and told Emma what happened. He fell under the car and two tires ran over his chest and head. I got a very dirty look from a female volunteer firefighter, she had her volunteer shirt on and that's how I know, but I was tired of the questions and impatience coming from my daughter. It worked and Emma was quiet and well behaved the rest of the trip.

I have noticed that Emma hasn't touched her skateboard since Saturday. I didn't want that to happen. I need to have a talk with her and help her understand that there are safe ways to play and ride the board and there are unsafe ways.

About 20 minutes after the call about Mrs. J's son passing on we got another call that another dear friend had passed away. I called this lady Mamaw and have for as long as I can remember. Mamaw's daughter, G, has been in my life forever. G has changed my diapers, cleaned up my vomit, given me advice when my mom started dating at the same time I did, and who knows what else G has done for me. G's mom did the same thing and took mom and me under her wing and adopted us. Mamaw was 90 years old and had been ill for a while but it's still sad. She's not in pain anymore though and is with her husband.

Besides mom and G there is another friend of mom's that has taken me under her wing. I call her Auntie D. These three women spend every Saturday night together and go out to eat and then watch a movie at G's and Auntie D's home. I call them the Three Amigas because they are together so much and are like sisters.

G and Auntie D have lived together for as long as I can remember. No, they are not lesbians. I think they might be close to being man-haters but lesbians, they are not. Both women were burned by men in their early 30's and have just never re-married or dated. They were happy sharing a house with each other and their kids.

Now all three women have lost their mothers and it has all happened within the past 18 months. I hate to say it but G might be gone soon too. She was diagnosed with Hepatitis C a few years ago and every treatment the doctors have tried hasn't touched it. She is in and out of the hospital and has to have dialysis. She contracted HepC from dental work. That is the only thing she has ever had done that could have given her the disease. Mom makes comments about getting HepC from my tattoos and so I just have to turn around and ask her if that means I should quit going to the dentist for check ups.

Mom gets very frustrated when I do this but then admits that she could be wrong. I've invited her to come with me when I get my next tattoo so she can see how safe and clean they are. I've used the same shop for all 4 of my tattoos and I know exactly how safe they are. In fact, I have another tattoo planned. I have a butterfly on my upper back and I'm going to have my tattoo guy add a tree frog hanging off a wing. I'm also going to have Tigger, Piglet, and Eeyore put on my ankle to go along with Pooh and the honey pots I already have. I'm going to put Ethan's name above Tigger, because he loves to bounce, Emma's name will be above Pooh, and Harley's name will be above Piglet. And NO I'm not putting Scott's name on my body. There are too many stories of people having to cover up an ex's name. Not that I plan on divorcing Scott but you never know what could happen. I still love him dearly, don't worry.

Now I need to go and do some work. I guess.

I'll try to update soon about the oh-so-fun solar system project the kids had to turn in today!

Chocolatism: If you think people are watching you reach for that candy bar, breathe hard, wipe your brow and say "what a workout" very loudly.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Well, haven't posted in a while because we have been fighting with a demon company about new internet access. We decided to switch from plain ol' dial up to Qwest.

I asked Scott to call and order it because he knew what he wanted, speed wise and all, plus I'm just kind of dumb when it comes to that kind of stuff. I added his name to my Qwest bill when we got married and made sure to let them know he was authorized to make any changes or order anything on the account. The oh-so-nice lady that answered the phone told him all about prices and speeds and he decided what we wanted and placed the order and when she pulled up our account oh-so-nice Qwest lady informed Scott that he couldn't order internet because my name was on the account first and that was that. Thank you have a nice day bwy bwy now.

He was extremely irritated when he called me at work and told me what happened. So I ordered the service and the lady that helped me just couldn't get it through her head what I was asking for. But she did make sure Scott was definitely on the account. I asked what the problem was with him calling because our phone bill came with both our names on it. She didn't know the answer to that.

We received the equipment and got it all ready to set it up and realized we were missing the USB adapter for our second computer so we could network the two computers. Scott would always get annoyed because I wanted to pay bills when he was looking for more music. Not that I would do something like that on purpose, No Never.....

When I called to find out why we didn't have the USB adapter I was informed that the modem we got didn't require it and wouldn't support it so we would have to use ethernet or a card of some kind. I told the tech support guy that when I ordered this I explained to the oh-so-nice lady that our comptuers are at the opposite sides of the house from each other and both are desktop, not a desktop and a laptop. He said oh, well she should have offered something else. But she didn't...

SO now Scott and I are off to shop for an ethernet cable long enough to reach. If there is such a beast, I'm not sure but we are going to find out.

And I did have a nice post all typed up that I wrote at work and then emailed to myself but Scott got everything changed over to the new internet and new email and I lost the post and will have to re-email to the new address. I could just re-type it but I really have no idea what I wrote.

Off to the store in my allergy induced state. I ate some shrimp and apparently I am following in my mom's footsteps with the seafood allergy. I am the same age she was when she first developed the allergy. Anyways, my throat is all swollen, my tongue is swollen, and everything itches. And I am loopy on Benadryl. I don't like that stuff but I kinda felt the need to breathe.

So if this post doesn't make sense I blame the antihistamine.