Wow didn't realize it has been 2 months since I posted anything. And boringly enough not much has changed. Ok, probably not really but thats what it feels like.
Lets see, Emma has an A in math which is unheard of for her. All of her grades are excellent right now. Yea for her, I'm so proud of her. I will admit I thought she might have been cheating but I watched her do some homework and she really gets it now. Double yea for her.
Ronnie just finished driver's ed and is getting his permit on Friday. Scares the crap out of me thinking about him driving. He is in the gifted program at school now and has already picked the college he wants to go to and already has the paperwork for scholarships and loans. He is a Sophomore. He is on the ball.
Harley has just 7 days of preschool. I am so glad we have one less bill to pay now. Bad way to look at it I know but I am glad for one less bill. He is registered for Kindergarten and is having a hard time waiting for August so he can start big school and ride the bus every day.
And we are on another count down to vacation. 17 days and we go to Disney. Again. We are taking Ronnie, Emma, and Harley this time. I am actually excited. Harley is tall enough for all of the rides and he is so excited to go. He could care less about meeting Mickey Mouse, he just wants to ride the rollercoasters.
We are going for Scott's birthday, he will be 45 this year and wants to ride the day away. Plus he gets in free for his birthday.
I am working way too much and not getting enough sleep lately. My office is an exciting place right now because we are upgrading the services we provide and the next 7 months will be even busier than we are right now. Lots of overtime in the near future.
Other than life not much is going on right now.
Hope everyone has a good rest of the week
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
It's been almost a month since my surgery and I feel so much better. I went against doctors orders and went back to bed to sleep just a week and a half after my surgery. I couldn't sleep in the recliner anymore and my butt was going to sleep.
Harley turned 5 years old February 17th and we are having his birthday party tonight. I have the brisket soaking in it's rub in the fridge for another hour or so and have the birthday cake cooling, ready to decorate. Harley requested a spider cake. His favorite movie at the moment is 8 Legged Freaks. Being the non-creative person I am, I have elected to try to make him a spider birthday cake. I am crazy I know. I love to bake but when it comes to decorating anything, I SUCK!!!!
Nana and Grandpa, Scott's parents, got Harley a blue 4-wheeler, just his size, and it stays at their house for him to enjoy when he spends the night with them. Plus they live in the country and have lots more room for him to ride around.
What else has happened in the past month.... Emma's grades are slowly rising. Having Ronnie here is wonderful for her, whether she thinks so or not. Ronnie is an honor student and Emma feels like she needs to keep her grades up to compete with him. Ronnie is in a class called Mock Trial. Basically what it sounds like, the kids are given cases to try and there is the defense and prosecution. The class went to a competition this weekend and when he got home today Ronnie said they lost just one case out of 5. Emma has all B's right now, which is excellent. She went from one B and C's and D's to straight B's. I am proud of her. Ronnie has 6 A's and 1 B, which is 1 point from an A. He is 10th in his class and is working hard to get closer to number 1. He wants to be Valedictorian of his class when he graduates in 2 1/2 years. Only 2 1/2 years. Time flies when you are busy!
Things are changing at my job and I really don't like the direction they are going. I have decided to get into the nursing program our college has next semester. It's time for a change that will lead to a career for me. I thought I had good opportunities for advancement where I am but I am finding that I thought wrong. I think I would make a great nurse, I am not squeamish at all and can hardly wait to start that. It will be hard, working full time and then taking night classes but I can do it. Just a matter of waiting for the next semester.
Scott's diabetes is now under control. Which I am very glad for.
March 1st is our 6th Anniversary. We are once again headed to Las Vegas for the NASCAR race. Last year our trip was pretty lousy. Scott had pneumonia and was miserable. We didn't do anything while we were there and only spent 2 hours at the race. We are hoping this year will be much better. We have plans to spend lots of time in the room :) um, cuddling, yeah right, lots of romping in the bed, and then spend Sunday at the race track. I am ready for it! We have had little time for just the 2 of us the past few weeks, what with surgery and ER visits! Scott's dad has said he wants to spend lots of time with us and Scott keeps saying not this year dad, nmaybe next year. Dad and his friends are staying in the same hotel as us so keeping our room a secret isn't going to happen.
And I finally had to buy a new dryer. Our old one was at least 20 years old and it finally crapped out. It gave a loud clunk and a puff of smoke and then the hot air was gone. We decided to just buy a new one instead of trying to fix the old one for the 20th time. I love my new dryer. It has the energy efficient cycle and dries the clothes in half the time as the old one! Laundry time is now cut in half!!
Cakes are done baking now and I think I am going to nap with Harley while they cool enough for me to decorate them.
Hope you all have a great week!
Harley turned 5 years old February 17th and we are having his birthday party tonight. I have the brisket soaking in it's rub in the fridge for another hour or so and have the birthday cake cooling, ready to decorate. Harley requested a spider cake. His favorite movie at the moment is 8 Legged Freaks. Being the non-creative person I am, I have elected to try to make him a spider birthday cake. I am crazy I know. I love to bake but when it comes to decorating anything, I SUCK!!!!
Nana and Grandpa, Scott's parents, got Harley a blue 4-wheeler, just his size, and it stays at their house for him to enjoy when he spends the night with them. Plus they live in the country and have lots more room for him to ride around.
What else has happened in the past month.... Emma's grades are slowly rising. Having Ronnie here is wonderful for her, whether she thinks so or not. Ronnie is an honor student and Emma feels like she needs to keep her grades up to compete with him. Ronnie is in a class called Mock Trial. Basically what it sounds like, the kids are given cases to try and there is the defense and prosecution. The class went to a competition this weekend and when he got home today Ronnie said they lost just one case out of 5. Emma has all B's right now, which is excellent. She went from one B and C's and D's to straight B's. I am proud of her. Ronnie has 6 A's and 1 B, which is 1 point from an A. He is 10th in his class and is working hard to get closer to number 1. He wants to be Valedictorian of his class when he graduates in 2 1/2 years. Only 2 1/2 years. Time flies when you are busy!
Things are changing at my job and I really don't like the direction they are going. I have decided to get into the nursing program our college has next semester. It's time for a change that will lead to a career for me. I thought I had good opportunities for advancement where I am but I am finding that I thought wrong. I think I would make a great nurse, I am not squeamish at all and can hardly wait to start that. It will be hard, working full time and then taking night classes but I can do it. Just a matter of waiting for the next semester.
Scott's diabetes is now under control. Which I am very glad for.
March 1st is our 6th Anniversary. We are once again headed to Las Vegas for the NASCAR race. Last year our trip was pretty lousy. Scott had pneumonia and was miserable. We didn't do anything while we were there and only spent 2 hours at the race. We are hoping this year will be much better. We have plans to spend lots of time in the room :) um, cuddling, yeah right, lots of romping in the bed, and then spend Sunday at the race track. I am ready for it! We have had little time for just the 2 of us the past few weeks, what with surgery and ER visits! Scott's dad has said he wants to spend lots of time with us and Scott keeps saying not this year dad, nmaybe next year. Dad and his friends are staying in the same hotel as us so keeping our room a secret isn't going to happen.
And I finally had to buy a new dryer. Our old one was at least 20 years old and it finally crapped out. It gave a loud clunk and a puff of smoke and then the hot air was gone. We decided to just buy a new one instead of trying to fix the old one for the 20th time. I love my new dryer. It has the energy efficient cycle and dries the clothes in half the time as the old one! Laundry time is now cut in half!!
Cakes are done baking now and I think I am going to nap with Harley while they cool enough for me to decorate them.
Hope you all have a great week!
Monday, February 02, 2009
Pain & Suffering
January was such a busy month. In and out of doctor offices and the ER. Scott broke out in hives the first week of January. They became so bad he got to the point where he could barely breath. So off to the ER at 2am because he wouldn't let me take him to the immediate care center we have just down the road at 7pm. Then 2 nights later he was so out of it and wacky acting that we went back to the ER after checking his blood sugars. He is a diabetic and his meter just read HI. We found out that prednisone messes with anyones blood sugars and this is especially dangerous for a diabetic. Docs finally got that under control and home we went.
I finally complained about the number of headaches and what I thought were sinus infections I've been having so my doctor sent me to an ENT, ear nose & throat doctor. Had a CT scan done of my sinuses and found that my sinuses are "pristine and a perfect textbook example for a class". The ENT said my headaches are vascular migraines, caused by my deviated septum. Apparently the broken part was pressing on my blood vessels and eye socket & causing the pain. SOoooo, I had surgery this past Thursday and had that repaired. My boss got a kick out of telling people I was going to get Marilyn Monroe's nose. I had to convince quite a few people that I wasn't getting a nose job, I was having my nose fixed. There is actually a big difference.
While he was performing the surgery he found some damaged cartilage and bone spurs and the doctor said he removed it all. Scott said the way the doctor described the bone spurs was almost like I had horns growing inside my head. And now my husband is telling people he always knew I was a horny little devil. :)
So, I am at home recovering. Takes 4-6 weeks to recover from this fully from what I understand. I'm not even a week in. But the headaches and pain I have now are no where near the headaches I was having. The pain I have now is in my upper lip and the tip of my nose. I can only open my mouth so far and its so much fun eating right now. Lots of crackers and soup so far.
This is the first time I have felt like looking at a computer in almost a week. And my eyes are already tired and Harley is begging me to put a movie in his DVD player. Horrible as it is, I am going to let him watch a movie right now. He spent all day at preschool and I haven't seen him all day but my head always hurts worse this time of day for some reason. I am going to nap in my chair, can't lay down for 2 more weeks, while he watches a movie and Emma pouts in her room. Who knows why she is pouting. She's almost a teenager and the mood swings are upon us!
I finally complained about the number of headaches and what I thought were sinus infections I've been having so my doctor sent me to an ENT, ear nose & throat doctor. Had a CT scan done of my sinuses and found that my sinuses are "pristine and a perfect textbook example for a class". The ENT said my headaches are vascular migraines, caused by my deviated septum. Apparently the broken part was pressing on my blood vessels and eye socket & causing the pain. SOoooo, I had surgery this past Thursday and had that repaired. My boss got a kick out of telling people I was going to get Marilyn Monroe's nose. I had to convince quite a few people that I wasn't getting a nose job, I was having my nose fixed. There is actually a big difference.
While he was performing the surgery he found some damaged cartilage and bone spurs and the doctor said he removed it all. Scott said the way the doctor described the bone spurs was almost like I had horns growing inside my head. And now my husband is telling people he always knew I was a horny little devil. :)
So, I am at home recovering. Takes 4-6 weeks to recover from this fully from what I understand. I'm not even a week in. But the headaches and pain I have now are no where near the headaches I was having. The pain I have now is in my upper lip and the tip of my nose. I can only open my mouth so far and its so much fun eating right now. Lots of crackers and soup so far.
This is the first time I have felt like looking at a computer in almost a week. And my eyes are already tired and Harley is begging me to put a movie in his DVD player. Horrible as it is, I am going to let him watch a movie right now. He spent all day at preschool and I haven't seen him all day but my head always hurts worse this time of day for some reason. I am going to nap in my chair, can't lay down for 2 more weeks, while he watches a movie and Emma pouts in her room. Who knows why she is pouting. She's almost a teenager and the mood swings are upon us!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
My Fairy Name
Your fairy is called Feather Hailtree
She is a protector of the lonely.
She lives in high places where the clouds meet the earth.
She is only seen when the first leaves fall from the trees.
She wears pale blue like the sky. She has cheery turquoise wings like a butterfly.
http://www.emmadavies.net/fairy/default.aspx">Get your free fairy name here!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
The End of 2008
First of all a belated Merry Christmas to all.
This year is almost over and I don't think I have ever been so grateful. Scott and I are doing quite a bit better but we still have work to do. Ethan is still up in Washington and from the sounds of it, staying. He is doing amazingly well. A down side is that he has gained over 20 lbs from the looks of the pictures I have seen. Emma flew up to Washington to spend the Christmas Holiday with her dad and stepmom and has texted me a few pictures. Emma has been miserable up there. She starts texting me at 7am and doesn't stop until almost midnight. I don't think they interact with her very much unless it is to try to talk her into moving up there with them permanently. Why would she want to do that when they won't spend much time with her. She's been up there since the 17th and she flies home on New Year's Eve. Very excited for her to come home. This was my first Christmas without Ethan and Emma and it was a little rough. I stayed busy enough to not think about it much but I still miss them.
Ronnie is doing so well here. He is a Sophomore with A's and B's in his honors classes, was on his way up to Varsity Wrestling until the muscles in his arm were torn. He is disappointed but dealing with it. Because of the torn muscles, wrestling is done for this year and Tennis is out as well. He said "it's all good, I still have the ladies". WOW, we have a steady string of girls coming through the house and have since school started. The friends he has made are great kids. I thought at first I would hate having a teenage boy here but I love it. Out of all the parents, Scott and I are the cool parents. They all spend the night here a few times a month and we have junk food and soda on hand at all times, live just 4 blocks from the mall, let them play video games as long as they stay quiet once Midnight rolls around, and insist on playing video games with them once in a while. The fact that I cook and bake for them plays a roll in the cool part for some reason. A couple have said their moms don't cook, they live on microwave foods. We manage to stay in touch with what they watch, listen to, like, and play and still manage to stay cool in their eyes.
Then there is Harley. He will be 5 in a month and half. He is sick right now and I've just spent 3 hours sitting in the rocking chair snuggling with him. I discovered his biggest disappointment for Christmas was no baby brother. He has asked for a baby brother all day now and can't grasp the concept the mommy and daddy can't have any more babies. We are both "fixed" so it would take an act of god and lots of money for us to have a baby. Some of the things that come from him are so fricking funny. He told me we need another Puggy to give Vegas a friend. We have been looking for another Pug and are trying to find a Pug Rescue close to us. So far no luck but we aren't giving up. It took us 8 months to find Vegas. Harley misses Ethan and can hardly wait for Emma to come home and wants a baby brother and another Pug. I asked him this morning what if mommy did have another baby and it was a girl. He said, nope won't happen, God knows he wants a boy so it would be a boy. He has a Mohawk right now and loves girls and spinach and is totally and absolutely fearless. Scares the crap out of me at least 10 times a day. He is the leader at preschool more than the others because that is the only way to keep him occupied. He is so far ahead of the others right now, I am afraid he is going to be bored in kindergarten. Guess I will deal with that when we get there. He is spelling out everything and reading and counts to 100 in English and can count to 10 in Spanish. It is so odd for me to have two boys, one Autistic, struggling to learn and the other, gifted, struggling to behave in preschool because he is so far ahead of the others. When the teachers started talking to me about him I thought they were full of it. The farther along preschool goes the more I'm realizing they weren't just yanking my chain.
Emma is 11 going on 18. The whole make up, clothes, shoes, friends thing that has sprung up since she started middle school is killing me. She kept a couple friends moving from elementary school up to middle school but the poor girl is like here momma and has boobs, which for some reason has attracted girls in the 8th grade to hang out with her. She is also a little taller than most of the kids in her classes. I wasn't allowed to wear make up until high school. I was going to do the same thing with Emma but she her new friends started putting it on her no matter what I said or did and the bunch of them ended up with Pink Eye. So I gave in and bought Emma her own makeup. The hair has changed quite a bit too. Her golden locks have been replaced with red hair on the lower half of her head and dark brown on the upper half. Her timidness is pretty much gone and her grades are up. So, the hair and makeup can stay as long as the grades are good. Truthfully I think having her older stepbrother living here, in almost all honors classes pushes Emma to work that much harder. Fine by me!
I am still at the same job, and still loving the job itself. Scott might be applying for a different job, better pay and benefits. Hoping he does for many reasons. Dig ourselves out of this mountain of debt we have, visit Disneyland a few dozen more times while we are still young, and who knows what else, oh yes, save for retirement!
As for my issue at work that has resolved itself. We are friends and that is it, ok co-workers and that is it. We talk about work and say Hi and Bye. It has taken a while to get there but we are. It was rough and there were lots of tears shed on both sides. I don't know what his home life is like anymore and he doesn't know about mine and it is better this way.
Scott and I talk ALOT more. Like we used to. We are spending alot of Us time again. Like we used to. All the things we did when our marriage was wonderful we are bringing back. I am alot calmer and the panic attacks I've been having throughout this year are gone. I haven't had one in almost 3 months now. Granted I should have seen my doctor about some of the issues I was having but I didn't and Scott worked through them with me. He calls it my MidWife crisis. You know, instead of my MidLife crisis. I really don't know what it was but we finally clicked again and life is almost back to normal since.
I told Scott if I ever go through something like that again please take me out to the back 40 somewhere and just shoot me, put me down so we don't ever go through this again.
Ok, I lied I know what clicked. Scott had a heart attack the first of October. That slapped the biggest piece of reality into me. He is doing good now, his heart tests came back showing no clogged arteries, but both upper chambers of his heart are enlarged. We keep an eye on him, get him to exercise more, and keep up with the diet he is on with some minor changes. He is a diabetic and his diet right now is pretty good.
And right now it is 12:20 am and I am exhausted so I'm going to bed. I will try to keep up better with this since I have absolutely sucked at this since my MidWife crisis started.
Only 3 more days til my baby girl comes home!
This year is almost over and I don't think I have ever been so grateful. Scott and I are doing quite a bit better but we still have work to do. Ethan is still up in Washington and from the sounds of it, staying. He is doing amazingly well. A down side is that he has gained over 20 lbs from the looks of the pictures I have seen. Emma flew up to Washington to spend the Christmas Holiday with her dad and stepmom and has texted me a few pictures. Emma has been miserable up there. She starts texting me at 7am and doesn't stop until almost midnight. I don't think they interact with her very much unless it is to try to talk her into moving up there with them permanently. Why would she want to do that when they won't spend much time with her. She's been up there since the 17th and she flies home on New Year's Eve. Very excited for her to come home. This was my first Christmas without Ethan and Emma and it was a little rough. I stayed busy enough to not think about it much but I still miss them.
Ronnie is doing so well here. He is a Sophomore with A's and B's in his honors classes, was on his way up to Varsity Wrestling until the muscles in his arm were torn. He is disappointed but dealing with it. Because of the torn muscles, wrestling is done for this year and Tennis is out as well. He said "it's all good, I still have the ladies". WOW, we have a steady string of girls coming through the house and have since school started. The friends he has made are great kids. I thought at first I would hate having a teenage boy here but I love it. Out of all the parents, Scott and I are the cool parents. They all spend the night here a few times a month and we have junk food and soda on hand at all times, live just 4 blocks from the mall, let them play video games as long as they stay quiet once Midnight rolls around, and insist on playing video games with them once in a while. The fact that I cook and bake for them plays a roll in the cool part for some reason. A couple have said their moms don't cook, they live on microwave foods. We manage to stay in touch with what they watch, listen to, like, and play and still manage to stay cool in their eyes.
Then there is Harley. He will be 5 in a month and half. He is sick right now and I've just spent 3 hours sitting in the rocking chair snuggling with him. I discovered his biggest disappointment for Christmas was no baby brother. He has asked for a baby brother all day now and can't grasp the concept the mommy and daddy can't have any more babies. We are both "fixed" so it would take an act of god and lots of money for us to have a baby. Some of the things that come from him are so fricking funny. He told me we need another Puggy to give Vegas a friend. We have been looking for another Pug and are trying to find a Pug Rescue close to us. So far no luck but we aren't giving up. It took us 8 months to find Vegas. Harley misses Ethan and can hardly wait for Emma to come home and wants a baby brother and another Pug. I asked him this morning what if mommy did have another baby and it was a girl. He said, nope won't happen, God knows he wants a boy so it would be a boy. He has a Mohawk right now and loves girls and spinach and is totally and absolutely fearless. Scares the crap out of me at least 10 times a day. He is the leader at preschool more than the others because that is the only way to keep him occupied. He is so far ahead of the others right now, I am afraid he is going to be bored in kindergarten. Guess I will deal with that when we get there. He is spelling out everything and reading and counts to 100 in English and can count to 10 in Spanish. It is so odd for me to have two boys, one Autistic, struggling to learn and the other, gifted, struggling to behave in preschool because he is so far ahead of the others. When the teachers started talking to me about him I thought they were full of it. The farther along preschool goes the more I'm realizing they weren't just yanking my chain.
Emma is 11 going on 18. The whole make up, clothes, shoes, friends thing that has sprung up since she started middle school is killing me. She kept a couple friends moving from elementary school up to middle school but the poor girl is like here momma and has boobs, which for some reason has attracted girls in the 8th grade to hang out with her. She is also a little taller than most of the kids in her classes. I wasn't allowed to wear make up until high school. I was going to do the same thing with Emma but she her new friends started putting it on her no matter what I said or did and the bunch of them ended up with Pink Eye. So I gave in and bought Emma her own makeup. The hair has changed quite a bit too. Her golden locks have been replaced with red hair on the lower half of her head and dark brown on the upper half. Her timidness is pretty much gone and her grades are up. So, the hair and makeup can stay as long as the grades are good. Truthfully I think having her older stepbrother living here, in almost all honors classes pushes Emma to work that much harder. Fine by me!
I am still at the same job, and still loving the job itself. Scott might be applying for a different job, better pay and benefits. Hoping he does for many reasons. Dig ourselves out of this mountain of debt we have, visit Disneyland a few dozen more times while we are still young, and who knows what else, oh yes, save for retirement!
As for my issue at work that has resolved itself. We are friends and that is it, ok co-workers and that is it. We talk about work and say Hi and Bye. It has taken a while to get there but we are. It was rough and there were lots of tears shed on both sides. I don't know what his home life is like anymore and he doesn't know about mine and it is better this way.
Scott and I talk ALOT more. Like we used to. We are spending alot of Us time again. Like we used to. All the things we did when our marriage was wonderful we are bringing back. I am alot calmer and the panic attacks I've been having throughout this year are gone. I haven't had one in almost 3 months now. Granted I should have seen my doctor about some of the issues I was having but I didn't and Scott worked through them with me. He calls it my MidWife crisis. You know, instead of my MidLife crisis. I really don't know what it was but we finally clicked again and life is almost back to normal since.
I told Scott if I ever go through something like that again please take me out to the back 40 somewhere and just shoot me, put me down so we don't ever go through this again.
Ok, I lied I know what clicked. Scott had a heart attack the first of October. That slapped the biggest piece of reality into me. He is doing good now, his heart tests came back showing no clogged arteries, but both upper chambers of his heart are enlarged. We keep an eye on him, get him to exercise more, and keep up with the diet he is on with some minor changes. He is a diabetic and his diet right now is pretty good.
And right now it is 12:20 am and I am exhausted so I'm going to bed. I will try to keep up better with this since I have absolutely sucked at this since my MidWife crisis started.
Only 3 more days til my baby girl comes home!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
A New Chapter in My Life
Well, another new chapter is about to begin. Last Sunday was a lazy morning. At first. Scott and I were being lazy and staying in bed until he absolutely had to get up and get ready for work. We could hear the kids playing in the front of the house and we didn't hear any fighting. Emma came in to tell us that Ethan had eaten lots of food during the night and Ethan came back screaming at her to shut up. We told all the kids to go out in the backyard for a while. After that it got very quiet. Scott was getting up to get ready for work and I was reading a book. Emma came back again, this time to say she couldn't find Harley or Ethan. They weren't in the backyard or any part of the house. We left the house to search the neighborhood. Scott finally found them 4 blocks away.
Ethan had packed a bag for him and one for Harley. They had a blanket and pillow and food. They were running away to live at the park.
I was just too angry to deal with Ethan so I did something I've never done before. I called his dad who is in Washington State and told him what had happened and asked him to talk to Ethan. I regret doing that now because what finally ended up being the solution is hurting me.
Apparently Ethan has wanted to live with his dad for a while now but hasn't told me because he didn't want to upset me. Apparently a lot of others have known this too but no one has wanted to tell me and upset me. I would rather have known than have Ethan live here and be upset. I know this all stems from the relationship between Scott and Ethan.
Scott feels Ethan shouldn't be treated any different just because he is a special needs child. OK, Yes I am easier on Ethan but he does have chores and is expected to do them. If he doesn't do them or throws a fit than he does get in trouble. Just not to the extent Scott feels is appropriate. He has had numerous doctors tell us that we can't treat Ethan like a normal child because he just isn't one. He will need different rules to accommodate for his disabilities. Scott just refuses to believe this.
So now Ethan is going to live with his dad and stepmom in Washington. We meet next weekend in Idaho. His new school doesn't start until after Labor Day so Ethan is going to go to school here for the week and then I take him out of school on Friday. I am so very sad that he is leaving but if this is going to make him happy then I will have to deal with it.
Scott keeps arguing with me about what time and where we should meet. He thinks I should make them change where we meet and when to make it easier for us. The place we meet is a 10 1/2 hour drive for both his dad & us. I don't understand why we should change and make them drive farther.
Our marriage that was getting better is back on the rocks because of this. I truly feel I'm being made to choose between my son and my husband right now. I haven't told Scott this because it wouldn't be fair to him. I don't know why I feel the need to please everyone all of the time. Something like that is just not possible and I'm usually the one that ends up hurt.
Scott did bring that up last weekend but I denied it. He has asked me if he needs to leave and in my state of hurt and anger I said yeah sure that would be great. Make me lose all but one person in my family in one weekend. Wrong thing to say but that is what I felt at the time.
It has taken us most of the week to talk at all and now that we are he has started harping on me again about where and when to meet them. I think it might need to be just Ethan, Emma, and myself making this trip. It might be good for just the 3 of us and that way Emma can say goodbye to her brother without Scott around to influence her. Emma loves her real dad but doesn't want to live with him. She said she is perfectly happy right where she is and doesn't want to leave Scott or me.
So in one week we will be back to just 3 kids.
I am so sad right now. I know it will get easier and I will deal with it but I just need some time to be able to be sad and Scott really doesn't understand this. He has been without Ronnie for 15 years and for some reason still can't seem to grasp how it is hard for to deal.
We haven't been to counseling in a month due to all the crap going on but I think it might be time to go back. Especially if he wants to save this marriage.
Ethan had packed a bag for him and one for Harley. They had a blanket and pillow and food. They were running away to live at the park.
I was just too angry to deal with Ethan so I did something I've never done before. I called his dad who is in Washington State and told him what had happened and asked him to talk to Ethan. I regret doing that now because what finally ended up being the solution is hurting me.
Apparently Ethan has wanted to live with his dad for a while now but hasn't told me because he didn't want to upset me. Apparently a lot of others have known this too but no one has wanted to tell me and upset me. I would rather have known than have Ethan live here and be upset. I know this all stems from the relationship between Scott and Ethan.
Scott feels Ethan shouldn't be treated any different just because he is a special needs child. OK, Yes I am easier on Ethan but he does have chores and is expected to do them. If he doesn't do them or throws a fit than he does get in trouble. Just not to the extent Scott feels is appropriate. He has had numerous doctors tell us that we can't treat Ethan like a normal child because he just isn't one. He will need different rules to accommodate for his disabilities. Scott just refuses to believe this.
So now Ethan is going to live with his dad and stepmom in Washington. We meet next weekend in Idaho. His new school doesn't start until after Labor Day so Ethan is going to go to school here for the week and then I take him out of school on Friday. I am so very sad that he is leaving but if this is going to make him happy then I will have to deal with it.
Scott keeps arguing with me about what time and where we should meet. He thinks I should make them change where we meet and when to make it easier for us. The place we meet is a 10 1/2 hour drive for both his dad & us. I don't understand why we should change and make them drive farther.
Our marriage that was getting better is back on the rocks because of this. I truly feel I'm being made to choose between my son and my husband right now. I haven't told Scott this because it wouldn't be fair to him. I don't know why I feel the need to please everyone all of the time. Something like that is just not possible and I'm usually the one that ends up hurt.
Scott did bring that up last weekend but I denied it. He has asked me if he needs to leave and in my state of hurt and anger I said yeah sure that would be great. Make me lose all but one person in my family in one weekend. Wrong thing to say but that is what I felt at the time.
It has taken us most of the week to talk at all and now that we are he has started harping on me again about where and when to meet them. I think it might need to be just Ethan, Emma, and myself making this trip. It might be good for just the 3 of us and that way Emma can say goodbye to her brother without Scott around to influence her. Emma loves her real dad but doesn't want to live with him. She said she is perfectly happy right where she is and doesn't want to leave Scott or me.
So in one week we will be back to just 3 kids.
I am so sad right now. I know it will get easier and I will deal with it but I just need some time to be able to be sad and Scott really doesn't understand this. He has been without Ronnie for 15 years and for some reason still can't seem to grasp how it is hard for to deal.
We haven't been to counseling in a month due to all the crap going on but I think it might be time to go back. Especially if he wants to save this marriage.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
I forgot to mention that our Guinea Pig died. We knew it was coming but the kids still cried. I went to work one morning and he was breathing and squeaking at me for his carrots. I got home from work and he was stiff as a board. So I'm thinking he died not long after I left that morning. Ethan and Emma both cried hard. Harley kind of sniffled and then asked if we could feed him to the ants. Because you know, the ants are hungry. Then Scott and Ronnie took it one step further and wanted to stick a fire cracker up its butt. I put the dead rodent in a shoe box and threw it away.
I was considered the bad parent for a few days after that. Ethan and Emma were upset because they wanted to bury him. Harley upset because I wouldn't feed it to the ants. Scott and Ronnie upset because I wouldn't let them shove a fire cracker up it's ass.
What a week that was!
I was considered the bad parent for a few days after that. Ethan and Emma were upset because they wanted to bury him. Harley upset because I wouldn't feed it to the ants. Scott and Ronnie upset because I wouldn't let them shove a fire cracker up it's ass.
What a week that was!
The first day of school came and went without too much drama. Stepson, I'm just going to use his name now that he lives with us, Ronnie, and Emma said it was ok and it took most of dinner to drag out what their teachers were like and the students they met. Emma and Ethan knew so many kids that came over with them from their elementary school but there were so many new kids there and Emma has already found a new boy to crush on. It's going to be a long year!
I took Ethan to school and Emma rode with a friend yesterday. I spent about an hour getting Ethan settled, his meds updated with the nurse and then wandered around and got a little nostalgic as I remembered my years at the school. It's a little strange having my kids go to the same elementary and middle school that I went to. Both schools have changed so much but are still the same.
Ronnie said his first day was pretty good. It was actually just the first day for kids moving up a school or new to the school district. Ronnie said he's ready for all the other students to show up so he can meet some GIRLS!!! He said he had about 10 girls give him their numbers yesterday but they were Freshmen and he wants to meet some Sophmores or Juniors now. Oh Joy
Found out that he can't start drivers ed until he's been here at least 6 months so I have time to get used to the idea and save money. We didn't get school supplies during tax free weekend because there were no lists to go by so we get to do that this weekend. And the lists for 3 kids is huge.
I took yesterday off to spend the day with Ethan at school but he told me he was fine I should just go home. I was a little shocked but I went home. I spent a few hours all by myself in a nice quiet house reading. I never get to do that again so I took advantage of the free time. I ate lunch with Scott, which made me sick, and then spent the afternoon rotating between the bed and the bathroom. Good times.
I feel better today, still a little queasy but no where near what I felt yesterday.
I'm looking forward to a weekend of doing nothing. It's almost noon and I've showered and paid bills and that is the extent of my day. Hopefully I can keep it up until Scott is home from work and its time to shop.
So I think I'll end this now and go lay down and read some more.
Oh, Scott and I are doing good right now. The sex is still not there but we talk and laugh like we used to so I'm going on the assumption that the sex will eventually come back. If it doesn't, well, I just don't know.
Have a good weekend all
I took Ethan to school and Emma rode with a friend yesterday. I spent about an hour getting Ethan settled, his meds updated with the nurse and then wandered around and got a little nostalgic as I remembered my years at the school. It's a little strange having my kids go to the same elementary and middle school that I went to. Both schools have changed so much but are still the same.
Ronnie said his first day was pretty good. It was actually just the first day for kids moving up a school or new to the school district. Ronnie said he's ready for all the other students to show up so he can meet some GIRLS!!! He said he had about 10 girls give him their numbers yesterday but they were Freshmen and he wants to meet some Sophmores or Juniors now. Oh Joy
Found out that he can't start drivers ed until he's been here at least 6 months so I have time to get used to the idea and save money. We didn't get school supplies during tax free weekend because there were no lists to go by so we get to do that this weekend. And the lists for 3 kids is huge.
I took yesterday off to spend the day with Ethan at school but he told me he was fine I should just go home. I was a little shocked but I went home. I spent a few hours all by myself in a nice quiet house reading. I never get to do that again so I took advantage of the free time. I ate lunch with Scott, which made me sick, and then spent the afternoon rotating between the bed and the bathroom. Good times.
I feel better today, still a little queasy but no where near what I felt yesterday.
I'm looking forward to a weekend of doing nothing. It's almost noon and I've showered and paid bills and that is the extent of my day. Hopefully I can keep it up until Scott is home from work and its time to shop.
So I think I'll end this now and go lay down and read some more.
Oh, Scott and I are doing good right now. The sex is still not there but we talk and laugh like we used to so I'm going on the assumption that the sex will eventually come back. If it doesn't, well, I just don't know.
Have a good weekend all
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