Saturday, May 08, 2010

I am borrowing this from

Top 20 Reasons Moms of Kids With Special Needs ROCK

1. Because we never thought that “doing it all” would mean doing this much. But we do it all, and then some.
2. Because we’ve discovered patience we never knew we had.
3. Because we are willing to do something 10 times, 100 times, 1,000 times if that’s what it takes for our kids to learn something new.
4. Because we have heard doctors tell us the worst, and we've refused to believe them. TAKE THAT, nay-saying doctors of the world.
5. Because we have bad days and breakdowns and bawl-fests, and then we pick ourselves up and keep right on going.
6. Because we gracefully handle the stares, the comments, the rude remarks. Well, mostly gracefully.
7. Because we manage to get ourselves together and get out the door looking pretty damn good. Heck, we even make sweatpants look good.
8. Because we are strong. Man, are we strong. Who knew we could be this strong?
9. Because we aren’t just moms, wives, cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs, women who work. We are moms, wives, cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs, women who work, physical therapists, speech therapists, occupational therapists, teachers, researchers, nurses, coaches, and cheerleaders. Whew.
10. Because we work overtime every single day.
11. Because we also worry overtime, but we work it through. Or we eat chocolate or Pirate's Booty or gourmet cheese, which aren't reimbursable by insurance as mental-health necessities but should be.
12. Because we are more selfless than other moms. Our kids need us more.
13. Because we give our kids with special needs endless love, and then we still have so much love left for our other kids, our husbands, our family. And our hairstylist, of course.
14. Because we inspire one another in this crazy blogosphere every single day.
15. Because we understand our kids better than anyone else—even if they can’t talk, even if they can’t gesture, even if they can't look us in the eye. We know. We just know.
16. Because we never stop pushing for our kids.
17. Because we never stop hoping for them, either.
18. Because just when it seems like things are going OK, they're suddenly not OK, but we deal. Somehow, we always deal, even when it seems like our heads or hearts might explode.
19. Because when we look at our kids we just see great kids. Not "kids with cerebral palsy/autism/Down syndrome/developmental delays/whatever label."
20. Because, well, you tell me.

I particularly like #4. I’ve been told that Ethan is so mentally retarded that he would never learn anything and I should just accept that and put him in a home and basically forget about him. The day I was told this I was so sick and should have been home wrapped up in blankets and doped up on some kind of medicine. I had tested positive for strep throat, tonsillitis, and bronchitis all at one time. I was feeling like I would keel over and die at any moment sick.

But I had an appointment at the school for Ethan’s test results, he was in Kindergarten at this time, and I wasn’t about to miss this particular appointment.

After the so called doctor informed me that my son was so mentally retarded I should just put him in a home and forget about him because he would never be able to learn or amount to anything. I burst into tears. I was mortified! I managed to calm myself down and just walked out of the building. It was also a cold, rainy day and I felt like Eeyore at that moment. Like nobody loved me and what was I going to do now.

The next appointment to go over the test results again but this time with his teacher, the principal, and the special ed teacher went much better. I was feeling better and had my voice back. I’d also had lots of time to take in what the weenie told me and was ready to fight.

I realized Ethan did horrible on all their little tests because he just didn’t like the guy. At that time Ethan hated to be touched. The only people that could get away with touching Ethan were myself and his sister, Emma. I found that this weenie was a touchy feely person. The first thing I asked the weenie was what makes him think he should be touching a child that might possibly have any kind of special needs. The only thing he could say was he was a touchy feely person and meant nothing by it. I informed him I wasn’t blaming him of anything but maybe, just maybe my son didn’t like to be touched by anyone for any reason. Huh, he hadn’t thought of that…

I went on to say that my son was not mentally retarded and even if he was I would never, in my worst nightmare, dream of putting him in a home and forgetting about him. That is when the principal spoke up and agreed with the weenie. Apparently she had done the same thing with one of her children. I informed the weenie that Ethan would learn, no matter what, that I would do everything in my power and then some to make sure he had a full and happy life with our family, not in some home.

Even though that was 9 years ago it still makes me so, so angry. I put Ethan through so much testing with pediatric psychologists and pediatric neurologists to get the “diagnosis” of High Functioning Autism with a side of Tourette’s and OCD.

I actually saw the weenie a few months ago and for some reason he remembered me. Can’t imagine why. I’m sure it had nothing to do with my scathing words at his incompetency all those years ago. He asked about Ethan and I told him he was doing wonderfully. He was reading almost at grade level, math a couple years behind grade level, and what he was diagnosed with. After that I just walked away. I don’t know what he thought of that and I don’t care.

Ethan is happy and that is what matters.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

I am frustrated and apprehensive right now. Scott has been out of a job for almost 3 weeks now and as far as I know he’s applied at just one place. Supposedly they need help but they are leery to hire him. He’s worked there before but quit because he was constantly passed over for promotions and the last time he was passed over for one was the last straw because they gave it to a guy who had pending sexual harassment charges against him and he’d been caught stealing lots of money, they even had the guy on tape, but they still gave this winner the promotion. Scott was loyal to this place for almost 6 years, working overtime on his days off when someone called in sick or just didn’t show up for work, went in early, stayed late, was the go-to guy. If a customer had a question Scott could answer it right away. If a co-worker had a problem or a question they went to Scott. To this day when he goes in to that store to buy auto parts he’s bombarded with questions about parts by the people who work there and know who he is.

They are also afraid to hire him back because the people that worked there before the company was sold are having a hard time adjusting to the new company’s rules. Even though it’s been over a year that they have worked under this new company’s name some of the employees can’t seem to follow the new rules. Scott never had an issue with that. He managed to adapt to the new rules right away.

I finally broke down and told him he needs to just start applying at other places now. I know home depot is hiring in our area and he even picked up an application for the theaters. I told him today to turn in that application and go apply at home depot. We keep getting told that walmart is hiring part time but neither of us want him working there. We’ve hear too many horror stories from ex-employees.

I just need to keep my fingers crossed and breathe. And pray.

And is it selfish of me to want to keep our gym membership? We have worked out all week and problems seem easier to deal with after working out.