Too Sad

In one day I read this story about the pro wrestler that killed his wife and son and then killed himself, and then this article. The first article tells that Benoit's son had the Fragile X Syndrome. The second article releases the exciting news that there might be a way to fight Autism and Mental Retardation in the future.

Who knows how far in the future it will be but just the thought of a possible "cure" for this.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love Ethan just the way he is and I don't want to change him because I am selfish and want my life to be easier. The only reason I would want him to have the vaccine, if it is ever approved for use in humans, is because it might make his life easier.
At first it was exciting to read the article. I thought how much easier Ethan's life would be as an adult. All the testing and occupational therapy and maybe even speech therapy could stop. Granted he would most likely still have Tourette's Syndrome but we could deal with that.

Then I thought of all these questions.

But would his life really be easier? What if it makes his life harder? More difficult to understand what is going on around him? Would the vaccine work overnight or would it take days, weeks, or months to show any signs of working? Would it really be worth it?

Would he be confused about his life before the vaccine or not know how to deal with life after the vaccine? What kind of therapy would he need after, what kind of education? All the things he would have to learn once he was "normal". I have so many questions!

The more I think about it the more I don't want that to ever happen.

Because would the testing and therapy really stop. He would probably still have to go through testing and therapy, just different types of it.

And would his interests stay the same, his love for movies and cars and trains. How would the way he looks at the world change? It would have to change. I don't see how that big of a life altering event could not change your outlook on the world.

WHAT IF?!?!?!?

I've all of a sudden decided if that vaccine is ever available I don't want Ethan to have it. There are way too many questions and there probably wouldn't be enough answers.

I could see maybe a toddler, just diagnosed, having the vaccine, but not an older child. One that would have to learn so much more.

I'm against childhood vaccines anyways so why add one more to the list. I keep that to myself because the debate going on about vaccines rages on just fine without my voice. I have enough going on in my life.

On to other news! Emma is begging to come home early, Still, so I've given in and will pick them up July 21st, wait, maybe July 28th. The final Harry Potter book comes out July 21st and the book store I love is having a party that starts at 9pm and goes until 2am or so. Party for 3 hours with other Harry Potter lovers and then buy the book and go home and start reading. For the past 5 years, every time a HP book has come out Scott and I go to the midnight party and then meet his mom and sister for breakfast at Denny's. I don't think that will happen this year.

Ahh, families, can't live with them and you certainly can't live without them.

I just can't go to a midnight party for HP and then get up at 4am to go get my kids. Sounds horrible! They are technically supposed to be there until August 11th though. Harry Potter might win this battle and the kids will have to wait until July 28th.

Ethan doesn't even want to come home! It's just Emma I'm going to have to worry about.

She'll be fine and I know it. It's just a matter of convincing HER of that.