Thursday, January 21, 2010

Rant Time I wrote this yesterday at work

Holy Crap I feel like Crap

The past couple of nights here have been snowy and cold. The days have been sunny and slushy. And to go along with all this wonderful wet weather I have a horrible cold. The left side of my head feels as if it's going to implode one minute and the next like its going to explode. My left eye and sinus are pulsing with the pressure and it feels so WEIRD. I've taken Mucinex and I've consumed lots of liquids, water, hot tea, even coffee. I've gargled salt water for my throat. Oh, today I've even lived on Advil. But nothing has touched the pain or pressure or congestion.

My husband is mad at me. He gets mad at me every time I'm sick. He claims he gets mad because I don't go to the doctor but what can a doctor really do for a cold. And with the way everyone goes to the doctor for every little thing who knows what else I could catch while I sit for hours in the waiting room, just waiting for my turn to see the doctor, only to have him tell me keep up what I'm doing and in another week or so I'll be fine.

Now, back to the whole mad at me every time I'm sick. It has nothing to do with me seeing a doctor or not seeing a doctor. When I had the hysterectomy he was mad. he knew it was coming, it's not like I sprung the news on him the night before the surgery. he was fine from the time he heard the news until the second we walked into the hospital to check me in. Then he was angry and snippy with me. He stayed that way until I was home from the hospital for a few days.

Why? Why does he get mad when I'm sick or hurt? It just makes me feel worse. Almost like I've done something wrong when I know I've done nothing wrong.

So, Ok. I could go to the doctor but again, it's a head cold. I don't want to pay a co-pay to have the doc tell me this. Plus, I've got a job, I've got 4 kids, and I've got him. Taking care of all those things is a full time job for 2 1/2 people. I tell him that and what happens?

He goes into the whole spiel of I need to take care of myself as well. I bring up taking time for myself and my family freaks out! I literally have to hide in the bathroom with the door locked to be able to take even 5 minutes to read a book. But they normally track me down and I put my book down to go do whatever they need done or to look at the picture they just colored or the score on the WII game they just played or countless other things that kids do.

I love my kids and that's why I put my book down to see what they are up to. I have an excellent relationship with them and want to keep it that way.

I know, I need to take care of myself and keep myself sane and healthy to be able to live a long life to keep those good relationships.

That is something I need to work on again

1 comment:

Walker said...

You're as bad as me.
I have been sick back to back since Christmas and I don't go to he doctor.
Inia is always telling me to go bu she can't make me she lives 5 hours away :P

But I do eventually when I see its not going good.
Like you I care about my kids so I do my best to take care of myself but i cant be running to the sawbones every time i have a sniffle.
Besides how the hell does he know if i am sick by sticking his hand up my but.
It's not like i am a cow or something her can check how much hay is in my stool