Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Autism, Loss, and Family

One of the things I haven’t done is find other parents of Autistic children. I always figured the support of my family was enough. And it usually is.

Today I was getting caught up on reading http://www.squidalicious.com/ and her post from yesterday about letting go of people really got to me.

When someone dies Ethan does acknowledge it but it takes him a while to grieve. It could be a few days or it could be years. When my grandma died in 2005 he actually started his grieving process at the same time as everyone else. And it seems he is still grieving. Ethan brings up granny quite often and for some reason that still shocks me.

This is a time I wish I had found a support group or other parents with an Autistic child to befriend. I haven’t really heard how other spectrum children deal with death, if they do at all.

Ethan may be almost 16 but I think it’s time I got out there and found a support group. I love my husband dearly but he still doesn’t really get Ethan. He tries oh so hard, but there are times and situations Scott can’t grasp what Ethan is upset over or why he reacts the way he does.

Obviously I have friends that I can talk to but it still isn’t the same because their children are “normal”. Well, as normal as a child can be! J

A dear friend that lives across the street seems to understand more than anyone so far. We have become very close to our neighbors and spend lots of time with them. Harley is only 2 weeks younger than their youngest daughter and Emma and Ethan are the same ages as their older two. We call each other’s kids our own and refer to them as neighbor daughter or neighbor son. And no, we aren’t like sister wives! My friend, S, and I agree that’s not a lifestyle we could ever lead. Yes, we have talked about that show, we have actually talked about pretty much any subject there is.

Anyways, Ethan adores going to their house and they adore Ethan. S’s dogs hate people that don’t live in their house but they love Ethan. I’ve sat many a night after work and we’ve talked about our day and Ethan’s latest triumph or steps he’s taken backwards. S listens and gives what advice she can and I love her for it.

S’s stepdaughter that is Ethan’s age has a little brother that is the same way and they are learning a lot about the spectrum and every once in a while I hear something they have learned that I didn’t know.

The only loss I haven’t seen Ethan react to is my stepson, Ronnie, leaving for boot camp. I’m not surprised though. Those 2 just did not get along. At all. They tried for my sake, I think, but not for them. I could hear them arguing and as soon as I walked into the room they were in they both quit talking. At first it bothered me but then I decided they would find their own way around each other and the household became a little easier for me.

Now, if only I could get my husband to stop irritating my mom on purpose! But he gets great joy out of it so I doubt it will stop soon. And it’s not anything mean. My mom is almost 70 and it doesn’t take much to irritate her anymore anyways. At least she still likes joking around with him. When that stops then maybe I will worry.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just as the gods used WWII to justify an influx of new technologies so will they use the impending pestilence which kills over half the world's population to justify historical medical advances, including the "cure of aging", initiating the "1000 years with Jesus on Earth".
We've seen this tactic used recently with AIDS, targetted at homosexuals and blacks in Africa.
Then, as promised, The End will come with fire::::Global tectonic subduction.

Don't forget the lessons the 'ole white preacher taught:::Dancing is a sin, spare the rod spoil the child.
The gods used the liberal tool to ridicule away so many taboos, paving the way for the decay of society and ultimately the End Times::::::
Black behavior was controlled by the KKK. Men's behavior was controlled by marriage for thousands of years.
When married by 15 men never gained the taste of promiscuity. Once the gods used the budding liberalism tool the men set the tone for the deteriorating enviornment centered around their gross disfavor.
Women's relinquishing control of pre-arranged marriage will be what costs mankind everything in The End. It's all their fault. Men are pigs, essentially just primally responsive disfavored beings who if given the freedom will abuse based on the impulses the god's push them into. Whereas under pre-arranged marriage this behavior was contained now the promiscuous fraternity house epitomizes the pinnicle of what a "real man" should be like. And sadly the women fall into line.

We all need to stop believing the lie. Contrary to belief participating won't buy us anything.
The voices in ALL our heads IS god, the technology they invented and use to control the universe and everyone in it.
Until we stop participating in the lie they will have control over us. The truth is only children go to heaven. It is very noticable; You will know your child is on a spiritual journey. And when people fail we all have to die and be reincarnated::::We're all coming back.

Compelling people to believe "the lie" allows the gods to get away with behavior like the Conneticut shool shooting with no reprocussions. So many people with gross disfavor, like men, believe "the lie" is evil, and by being evil in their lives they are "earning" their way into heaven.
Understanding the rejecting "the lie" would result in vulnerability and fear, thinking the right way important for a legitimate chance to ascend in a future life.
Note the gods created elements which progressively tried to defeat this fear:::Xtian god, USA, democracy, union membership, affluence, stability.
I shared the importance of thinking the right way. Understanding the gods did this can assist in this capacity.

Clearly those who buy "the lie" would be men, most of whom are preditors who believe they are "earning", and masculinized women.
I don't want to judge but these teachers appeared effeminate, a clue "god is evil" and "evil earns for you" hasn't yet been employed due to their favor.
Very similarly, hurting the disfavored to motivate to pray isn't the only tactic the gods use. Many morbidly disfavored regions like the Meditereanean never experienced enlightenment but truely there are regions which enjoy this path and subsequent impressive numbers, far more than even those Jews in Egypt slavery "enjoyed".
Realize as time progresses and the enviornment becomes more disfavored fewer people enjoy the positive path and fewer even female charecteristics. 20th century developments like equal rights (workplace) for women made great advances towards the masculinization of women, yet another example of how the gods used liberalism to promote social decay.