Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Another posting draught has entered my life. Too many things going on & I don’t know where to start.
Stepson has moved in with us and so far it has been a pretty smooth transition. He is such a great kid that life is pretty good on the kid front right now. He does chores and the house and yard work without being asked or told. He helps out with Harley and tolerates Emma’s hounding so well. Emma complained and whined that he was moving in but I do believe she secretly loves having him here all the time. She is starting to really come out of her shell and I just hope that starting middle school in 2 weeks and 3 days doesn't force her back in to it.
Ethan and Emma just got back from a 2 week camping trip with their dad, stepmom, and the OutLaws. Emma has gone into great detail of where they were, what they saw, what they didn’t get to do, and even what they ate. She was bummed because her dad and stepmom wouldn’t let her and her stepsister explore a small area around their camp ground. I can understand, they were at Yellowstone. So instead of telling the girls they have to sit in camp all day and do nothing, go explore with them!! But no, that didn’t happen. Emma said she did have fun but was just so bored most of the time.
Ethan hasn’t said much other than he now wants to go live with his dad. The first time he said it I didn’t exactly blow it off but I skirted the comment and redirected his line of thinking. I assumed it was a one time thing because that’s what Ethan does, after every summer spent with his dad he wants to move there. But once he’s home for a couple of days he changes his mind. This time he hasn’t. He keeps asking. I guess I need to write my ex and tell him what is going on. I explained to Ethan that since school starts in just a couple weeks and he’s already registered at his new middle school that he will have to go to school here this year and we shall see how it goes towards the end of the school year and see how he feels. I really don’t know how to feel about this!
We just went through this with stepson moving here. We drove 18 hours to Texas to pack up stepsons stuff and move him back here. The day we got him his mom and stepdad had a going away BBQ for all of their friends to say goodbye. I met almost all of his friends and they were all so nice and supportive of what he was doing. I went in kind of tense, ready to defend myself against someone saying that we are stealing stepson away but everyone was so nice. They made sure to include me in their conversations while Scott signed paperwork, which caused a huge fight between us but that is for later.
Stepson’s mom cried and held onto ME, not stepson but me, saying over and over she knows I will take good care of her son but please take good care of her son. She has had him for 15 years so I can imagine how hurt she must have felt.
Stepson didn’t leave on good terms. He said he has fought with his mom and stepdad constantly for so long now and he is tired of it. He said some things that were pretty terrible but we have no proof of so we can’t do anything about it.
Harley is as precocious as ever. I find myself arguing with the 4 year old of the family more and more and I am just amazed at his vocabulary. Either that or the other kids his age that we know are just way behind in their speech development. I know that all children develop at different speeds but we know one girl that squeals when she talks, I have never heard a normal tone come out of her mouth. She has probably half the vocabulary that Harley does. Her mom, of course, thinks it is so cute that she squeals all the time, she’ll make the perfect teenager the mom says. Yikes. But her mom is also a teacher that should know there is something wrong with her daughter’s speech by now. Denial, I went through it with Ethan and being diagnosed with Autism.
Scott and I are trying. We haven’t been to a counseling session in a month but with all the traveling we have done this month we haven’t had time. Connie Mack starts Thursday so counseling will have to wait until that is over. We now have a decent line of communication going. We quit walking away from things that need to be discussed and we realized that life is actually a lot easier if we talk something out right away.
We argue now, which was something we didn’t do before. Apparently some arguing is healthy for a marriage. Who knew?
While we were separated our sex life was Hot. It is back to lukewarm. Not sure why that has happened. He says it’s because I don’t want him anymore. If I don’t want him anymore than why I didn’t I just tell him to stay away when he was out of the house. Why was our sex life so good when he was out?
I think we just need to learn to incorporate sex back into our life as a couple with 4 children, 2 full time jobs, and a needy mom/mother-in-law.

1 comment:

Walker said...

You have been busy haven't you?
Ihope all goes well with all the kids now living under the same roof and you will see how your son feels at the end of the year.
Does your ex want him on a permanent basis is the question. Maybe send him to stay with him for the summer to get a feel of what it would be like would be a good idea.

4 year olds are smarter than they used to be. My niece suprises me every day.

As for the sex thing, I can't tell you why it was better when youy were apart. Maybe because you didn't know when you would be having the chance again and had to get as much as you could each session and now that its readily available its taken for granded.
Maybe you could throw him out for a couple of hours and meet him at a motel ;)