Connie Mack is here again

As much as I love baseball I don't pay that much attention to it. I miss the days I played rec softball. I miss the people I saw there and only there. And truthfully I miss the girl who got me involved in softball. We met as Sophomores in high school and were best friends until 5 1/2 years ago. That just happened to be the time Scott came along. I discovered that this friend liked Scott just as much as I did. Problem? This time no. As friends we often liked the same guy but I always bowed out and let her go after him. Why? Because she was, I was going to say stronger but that's not right. I'm just as strong a woman as she was or is. She has always been just that much more sure of herself than I was. Maybe not anymore but in high school she was. Scott asked me out on a date, over the phone, even though he'd never met me. I didn't know this but he had seen me so he knew what I looked like.
This made my friend so upset but she never once told me. She just set about her own way to try to steal Scott from me. But Scott found her repulsive. I could never figure out why until she finally admitted the truth to me. Scott saw through her immediately. He knew what kind of person she really was. For some reason I was blind to it for years and years.
Even after all that she did to try to sabotage Scott and myself I still miss her. Especially during Connie Mack.
We would go to the games together and sit and watch the games, unlike every other teenage girl that was there. The other girls were there to socialize, flirt with boys, be seen, but never to actually watch the games. We both got married and she moved to the East Coast and I moved to the West Coast. We both moved back after a time and she got me involved in rec softball.

So I miss softball but for some reason I haven't tried to find a new team to join to play again. I still go to Connie Mack games but I go with just family. I say just family but I've gone to games with my mom since I was in elementary school. It's our bonding time I guess, we sit in the bleachers in the same seats we've had since I was little and watch those teenage boys play. It's quite exciting to hear who has made it to the big leagues after playing at our little series. It has been in Farmington for 44 years now. Scott keeps teasing me that they are looking for a new home for it. He is really not a baseball fan. But he goes to some of the games because he knows I enjoy it. Kind of like I watch Nascar or go to the races with him because I know he enjoys it.

Tonight is the third night of this years series and games start in 6 hours, 5:15pm.

Our marriage is slowly getting stronger. We are re-learning to talk through our problems and actually talk, not bottle things up. Our latest issue that we are trying to work through is both of our schedules.

I told him I might start going on call on the weekends, if I did it would be with a laptop at home, I wouldn't have to go anywhere and it would be maybe once a month. He got so upset at this and said we barely spend any time with each other as it is. I really don't know how to respond to this because he has worked 7 days this week. He was supposed to be off Thursday and today. But the store in Durango, a 45 minute drive from our house, called last week and said they would need help and asked Scott to fill in. He said yes. Granted the over time pay is nice but that is what cuts into our time together, not my job but his unwillingness to say no when they need help at his job. We were supposed to spend today finishing up school shopping since it is tax free weekend, have my mom's birthday lunch (because obviously we can't miss a game for a birthday dinner, mom's choice not mine!), and just be together.

Even though there are so many weeks that he works 7 days a week for the overtime it is my job that keeps us from spending time together. I have a cake job. I work Monday through Friday either 9-6 or 8-6. On the rare week that a certain co-worker is off I work 8-6 all week long. I think the problem is not my time spent at work, its that I absolutely love my job. I do make less since I transferred to the new position but it is worth it for my sanity. There is just as much stress as the old position but it is a different kind of stress. A kind I am able to deal with so much easier. Part of the problem is that I work with mainly men now. I have discussed, in short detail one man in particular. Which Scott is aware of. He knows of feelings. The feelings are still there but we only talk about work or his wife's pregnancy. She isn't due for a month but she is already contracting and dilated to a 2.

It is hard staying away from him but I'm doing it. I am in no way proud of how I've acted for most of this year but I'm trying to change and feel I'm doing a pretty good job of it.

I can tell I'm doing a better job at being a mom again. My patience is not where I want it to be but from reading so many other mom's posts I'm not the only one in this boat of thinning patience.

Wow, I went from baseball to my life. :) I am getting happier with my life and hope it continues.

My concern now is getting a 15 year old through high school as easily as possible, 2 tweens through middle school without too much drama, and a little demon through his last year of pre-school even though he feels he should be starting kindergarten and just doesn't understand why he isn't starting that big school this year.

Oh, and the 15 year old is begging to start driver's ed.

Which it is time.....

But are we ready??????