Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Head of the Special Ed Class

This is absolutely horrible. And I really can’t believe hubby and I said this. Ok, I’m so lying right now but you know, I try to convince myself at times that I’m not this crass.

We received Ethan’s state test scores from the end of last year. They came in the mail, which I couldn't understand because we received Emma’s and Ronnie’s scores with their first report cards. Anyways, I read through all of the scores and realized he scored Advanced in all of the categories. There was one category that he was almost in the proficient range but it was still above that line and in Advanced.

I showed them to Scott and we read them again and again. Now, the state test was altered because of the Special Ed class he’s in. But he still scored Advanced people!!

Then, after a hard day at work for me and Scott having a job interview (that is very stressful in my opinion) and then Scott was interviewed by local news because we are trying to get our town to put in speed humps on our street because of crappy-ass drivers, I think we both lost our minds and went a little crazy for a few minutes.

Scott said Our Son is the Valedictorian of the Special Ed class right now. And we just went with it. Cracking jokes about it. So horrible. I know.

Believe it or not we weren’t mean about it. I will never be mean about how well Ethan does or does not do in school. I was told when he was in Kindergarten that he would never be able to learn, the school tester told me Ethan was retarded, not Autistic, and that we should just put him in a home and leave him alone. Stupid ass school tester. I should have punched him in the nose when he said that, alas, I’m not a violent person.

Not only can Ethan learn but he’s pretty damn smart. His memory is Awesome too!

My mom thought we were horrible. How can you crack jokes at your son’s expense she asked me. She asks me this a few times a month. I love my mother but she still hasn’t grasped that if I don’t make jokes and laugh then I am going to cry. Mom, please understand this!! Laughing is my preferred method of dealing with life.

Scott and I are avid watchers of the show Parenthood, it airs Tuesday nights on NBC. One of the sets of parents have a son with Asperger’s. There has probably been one episode since this show started that hasn’t made me cry. When the son was diagnosed I cried because all the emotions that were written for the parents to portray I had. The excitement the son feels for certain things makes the parents feel hopeful that he is finally on his way to being “normal”. Ok, this hasn’t been said but that’s how I take it because I’ve been there too.

Last night’s episode had the boy (Max), his father, and grandfather shopping for chips and beer and I don’t know what else if anything. Max had a small meltdown in the chip aisle but the dad managed to get Max to compromise over the amount of chips they should buy. A little crisis avoided. Then they roll up to the cash register to pay for their junk food and it’s the 10 items or less aisle. The customer in front of them has 17 items, we find this out because Max counts them and then starts removing some of the other guy’s items, much to the dad’s dismay. The other guy freaks out a little bit, understandably. Dad sends Max and Grandpa back to get more chips. While they are gone the other guy is muttering about how Dad should learn to control his son and how he feels sorry for Dad for having a retard. Dad hauls off and punches this other guy. Wrong way to handle this situation but I couldn’t help but cheer and laugh and cry all at the same time.

How many other parents of Autistic, Asperger’s, Special Needs of any kind, have had their child have a total melt down in a store and get looks and comments and outright disgust over what is going on. I’ve been saddened by some of the things I’ve been told, I’ve been humiliated, angered, pretty much any emotion out there. All due to a meltdown Ethan has had in a store. I’ve learned how to avoid them or if one does start I’m very good at stopping them almost right away anymore.

There are a few people I’ve wanted to haul off and punch, body slam, or just hurt physically because of their comments. If a child, doesn’t matter the size of the child, is having a meltdown, let the parents handle it.

Don’t tell me what I’m doing wrong and what I should change. Because You Don’t Know. Unless you’ve been there. And still I wouldn’t dare tell another parent what to do because every special needs child is different and you cannot treat them the same when it comes to calming methods.

Off to have my Head of the Special Ed Class read to me now!

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