Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I really do love my life, I promise

I’ve decided we live in an absolutely crappy area for an autistic child. Why? I read blogs from other mom’s talking about the cool stuff museums, zoos, theaters, and probably quite a few more places, do fun and exciting things for autistic people. I’ve approached our local theater to host a “sensory” showing for any kids movie out there but they can’t seem to decide if that would be a good idea or not. For this type of showing the lights wouldn’t be all the way down, just dimmed, you could bring your own snacks, your child could get up and wander around the theater without you having to worry that someone will get angry because the freak kid can’t sit still, and you get to interact with other parents of disabled children. This would be a movie just for people with sensory issues and their families. I know it would take some advertising and might not do very well the first few times around but once families learned about it I think it would sell out.

When I called our local theater management office about this the lady said she would pass the message on but sounded like it was a horrible idea, almost like she was afraid she would catch something from a disabled child.

One blog in particular talks about how she is so very thankful for some of the parents she is friends with because their children are autistic as well. These parents “get” what life is like and let you vent about anything and everything. She said she can talk about her son’s issues or not talk about them. They can just sit around and she doesn’t need to worry about having to explain anything. They just know.

I would love to have more friends for hubby and I to hang out with, go to dinner and or a movie with, have drinks somewhere, bbq’s and get togethers. I don’t know if that will ever happen. We used to have friends to do these things with but the older Ethan got and the more they realized that I wasn’t blowing smoke up their asses when I said he was autistic the more our friends disappeared. Or spent the time we did spend together letting me know of all these alternative treatments that they swear would cure him of his autism because her best friend in California did this for her 2 autistic sons and now they are both totally cured forever. We’ll see about that.

I admit, I pulled away from them, they really didn’t pull away from us. I was tired of getting invited over and being told no kids tonight please and we show up and everyone else’s kids are there. Well, Shannon, you’re son IS such a handful and we never know how he’s going to be so it’s just easier, you know, if he stays home. You know, in his comfort zone. Bullshit no one wants to deal with my reality. They want to stay in their own alcohol induced, perfect child who is gifted beyond their years, reality. I’m not jealous I promise. Maybe bitter but not jealous. I got tired of putting on a happy face and saying "that's ok". He is, after all, happier at home. BS

Ethan is gifted in his own way. He hates math but excels at it in school. He reads to himself and on good days to his little brother. He sees a movie once and can quote it word for word along with acting out all the scenes. A little disturbing to see an almost 6ft tall 14 year old “flying” around the yard pretending he’s Iron Man but he’s happy and I still think it’s adorable.

Right now hubby and I are going through life pretending we are fine without the friends to go out with. That work and home is enough for me and being a stay at home dad is enough for him. But it’s not. Some may say we are selfish but who cares. Everyone needs some time to themselves, every couple needs a little time away from their kids, and everyone deserves to be around people that are understanding.

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